Roller Girl and I date

Tonight is the night.  Hot diggity dog.  (Yes, I am that huge a nerd.  Hey.. some people like that kind of thing.)
I have my first official date with Roller Girl and it’s an overnight.  I wish I knew how to type eyebrows waggling.  I liked Roller Girl the moment I met her.  She’s funny and smart.  She’s wicked sharp.  We have a LOT in common.  We met at a BBQ at the house she shares with Kinky Boy.  When we left, Hubby mentioned that he thought she was cute and kinda awesome.  He’s got the same thing for roller derby girls that I do.  Like a good wife who’s poly husband currently isn’t dating anyone I got her number from Kinky Boy and passed it on.

She offered to date both of us (unicorn anyone?) but we’re pretty darn new to poly and it just seemed like me dating Kinky Boy and Hubby dating Roller Girl seemed complicated enough for a while, and boy was it (see other angsty blog entries).

I could tell by the chemistry that Roller Girl and I had that it would probably happen, but I’m content to wait.  I wanted Hubby to get good and gelled with her before we went out, and Roller Girl and I became fast friends, texting and flirting and really supporting each other.  It’s been really awesome.  I dig this girl.  I dig her on so many levels.  I started to type those out, and well.. it’s not a G rated blog, but it ain’t an x-rated one either.  Suffice it to say that she’s a good friend, a confidant, a very good kisser, and a roller derby babe.  I’m very much looking forward to the boudoir, because she’s pretty creative, is a switch, and I told you the chemistry was good.

I am excited about this for itself, clearly.  I’m excited about this too because it’s been a long damn bitch of a week slogging through the communication and negotiation and drama.  We were all reacting and reacting and reacting and it was a MESS.  We started asking instead “what do  you need and what do you want?” and we examined creating some healthier boundaries for this tangle we are in.  We were trying to be transparent, honest and open with each other and that’s a good thing, but it was creating problems and we clammed up, and that was a bad thing.  Stuff that wasn’t being said festered and exploded and came out all kinds of sideways.  We’re trying another way of communicating and that’s working better.  There is peace in 10 of the 11 relationships in this tangle.  (see below for quad math).  Roller Girl and Kinky Boy aren’t good, and that’s a fact of a couple that’s broken up.  Hubby and I have better boundaries now to not be sucked into that though.  So that’s good.

Tomorrow is the big poly BBQ, and why yes aren’t I just metropolitan.  All three of the people I’m involved with will be there and Great Date and his gal will too.  It should be weird, but like most things poly, I’m betting it won’t be.  I’m excited at the chance to see Great Date an extra time before our date scheduled for Tuesday.  God he rocks.  It’s gonna be hard not to jump him, and maybe that’ll be the only real weirdness.  Hubby is my date, so they’ll be none of that.  🙂


  1. Well, at least if it’s a poly BBQ, you’ll get to flirt with him a little. Not outrageously, of course, since you’re there with hubby, and he’ll be there with his gal. But you can flirt, and nobody will give you grief for it.

    At our last “mixed” BBQ, we couldn’t even flirt, because nobody knew we were poly, and me hitting on the guy’s wife would seem… weird.


  2. Oh, and poly math- relationships are:
    a) each relationship of each individual to the other (married, lover of spouse, ex, dating, ect) =6
    b) the foursome as a whole =1
    c) threesomes of association = (example hubby, wife and roller girl)=4

    total=11 relationships.


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