I am so unbelievably tired. I need to figure out a way to have all the time I want with my date and still get to sleep at a semi-decent hour. I’m not trying to be crass about this either. I literally mean get all the time with my date and still sleep. I can’t see the people I care about as much as I’d like to. I want to see them all 3 times a week and I have only 7 days and 4 people. This boils down to 3 dates a week and 4 dates with the honey in our arrangement, but it’s never really 3 dates because it just never works out in scheduling. It’s really 2 dates a week and then 1 to 2 dates with the hubby a week and then just some days to do things like work out and cook and clean the house and do laundry and stuff.
All my relationships are new (or benefiting from the energy of them as my hubby and I are doing) so there is a lot of sexual energy, but there’s also a lot of talking and exploration and just general fun. I love it and don’t want to miss any of it. I want to stay up all night soaking up every syllable they speak and every flavor we eat. I want to taste and smell and touch and hold and just be close and I never want to fall asleep. I want every precious second.
Problem is that I still require sleep and I am 38, not 18. I need sleep. This is taking a toll. I can’t stay up half the night 2-3 days a week. I’m too old. Working out and eating well help, but I’m gonna look like an 85 year old if I keep this up.
Having said all that.. Oh Roller Girl.. you were worth every precious second. I wouldn’t trade a one and I don’t give one freakin’ bit of care that I am a tired sore drooling mess at work today. I’ll get some espresso and an Advil and think of you and all that you were last night and I’ll be fine.
See my dilemma?