Great date and I have our first overnight tonight.  I’m giddy giddy Giddy.

Ill be totally honest.  I’m still sad about Kinky Boy.  I’m sorry it wasn’t a good situation, but I can’t just turn it off like a tap.  I will be fine and hopefully we really will be friends and OK coworkers.

I cried last night on the ferry.. Realizing I will never kiss him again, that I’ve held him for the last time.. And I feel it now.  And I balled my eyes out when I got home and again when Hubby got home.  It just hurts.  I feel a ton of loss.  I hate that all of that good was tied with all of that bad.  It doesn’t make it go away that I love my husband or that Great Date and I and Roller Girl I have a really cool thing forming.  Of course.. It does help to have amazing support.

Last night I talked to ForensicGuy (remember my poly friend), helping to form my breakup plan, and with Great Date- the sweet smart hot wonderful self he always is. It did feel good to be so supported.  Hubby got home and was affectionate and loving, letting me talk and holding me while I cried.   We decided to go downtown and have dinner and sugary food.  We called Roller Girl, who’s plans had fallen through, and ForensicGuy was free, so we all met for PG fun at a restaurant bar.  We joked and laughed and talked..a few times really guffawing because things were hilarious.  It felt good to laugh and for spend what would normally be my date night still surrounded by love.

I’m going to add this to the poly benefits column.  It doesn’t mean your heart won’t be broken, but loving more than one person means that when it does, you’ll have the support of love when you hurt and need it most.

Now back to being giddy.

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