Post Great Night Saddness

Ahh… things have been a little more peaceful in my life and things are going well with my budding relationships.  I’m pretty into the NRE with Great Date and Roller Girl and I are skirting around getting pretty mushy.  I had a wonderful date again with Traveler.  He’s just so easy to be with and so amazingly sexy and funny and cute.  I like him so damn much. And this morning, I’m feeling a little sad.  I have this weird thing that happens after a very good date.. I get sort of blue.  I am all smiles and kisses and oxytocin and endorphins, and somebody waves goodbye and I feel this emotional post date droop.

I wonder if it’s just me.  I can’t be all honest and disclose about this with dates and tell them that I get all bummed the second the date is over because that seems a little… Uh… clingy.

“We just spent 18 hours together and you are sad I’m leaving?”  Um.. not going to say that.  But it’s true. There’s something about the magic you create with a date.  I love the intense conversation, sex and affection of a really good date.  I get all connecty and then poof, it’s time to go home and wake up and let go.  Over breakfast I’m enjoying the conversation but also knowing that it’s coming to an end.  We talk about our plans for the day or the coming days and I want to include them in mine and be included in theirs.

I want them on my agenda.  I want to be able to look at Google calendar when they’ve driven away or I’m riding the ferry home.  I want to be able to see that I will see them again soon.  It’s hard to let go.  It’s so bittersweet, afternoons like this.  I am still soaked in the night before and those last kisses and hugs, and I’m feeling the loss and the separation of another week waiting to see them again.  Such sweet torture.

On the plus side, it’s not a date for Great Date and I, but we are getting together with him and his Gal tonight for food and a card game.  God I’m excited to see him again.  I now feel Hubby’s pain when it was hard for him to only see Roller Girl once a week while he was feeling like this.  It’s a good control for keeping NRE in check and being sure we don’t accidentally connect wrongly to someone, damn it’s hard.  I want to see him like 3 days a week right now.  Ahh.. sweet torture again.


  1. Well, I think you hit the nail on the head. Just as you’re getting really close to someone, the reality of poly “dating” kicks in: you can’t see them again until XXX. Will they forget about me before then? How will I get by?

    I don’t think it’s clingy, but it is kinda sad. It’s one of the reasons that I always fantasized about living in a larger “intentional group.” I like the idea that when you miss someone, you just walk down the hall and there they are. I don’t know about the reality; I don’t know how well these things work. But I like the idea 🙂


  2. I really relate to this feeling of missing and wanting more of that deep connection and dating high. But there’s just not enough time. I too want the spot confirmed on our google calendars! I’m thinking more about what I want as I step into consensual non monogamous marriage, and your blog is helping me define that. I’ll keep writing about it.


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