Metamours, or the people I love my lovers loving

Metamours is a word poly folk use for the partners of my partners or basically anyone in your polycule (or polyamorous group) that you are not sleeping with or romantically involved with.  This is another one of those benefits of poly I didn’t expect.

The people my partners are partnered with seem to often be really cool people that I like.. a lot.  I was surprised by this, but really I shouldn’t be.  I mean, if I have a lot in common with someone and we are very compatible, it makes sense that people they are really good with might be good with me too, uh.. once you get past that awkward “I’m screwing your husband” thing.  🙂

When I was dating Kinky Boy I really hit it off with his partner, Roller Girl.  (As savvy blog readers have noticed.. Roller Girl and I are dating, and she’s dating Hubby and she’s dating us together too).

I met and really like Great Date’s Gal.  She’s funny and sexy and irreverent.  She’s intelligent and really good hearted, kinda like her man.  We have like 85% the same books on our shelves and she’s just.. lovely.

I met and really like Traveler’s wife.  She’s very active in charities related to charities and causes I care about too, and she shares my humor also.  (It’s a dark and sassy humor).  She’s sexy and interesting and smart.

I haven’t met Great Date or Travelers other partner yet, but I’m guessing they’re pretty cool.  It’s a weird thing.  Once I got past the relatively short lived awkwardness of meeting your lover’s partner, the conversation is often quite good and these (mostly women in my case) people become another little part of my life that is very welcome.  It’s always a little weird.  Do I kiss him hello?  Do I hug her?  But honestly the awkwardness is like 10 minutes long.  I like the community of poly people and I like the camaraderie of these relationships.  My metamours are another of the surprising benefits of poly.



  1. I loveee my hubby’s new girlfriend. She’s amazing! We’re not dating (yet), but that’s mostly bc I want him to get to experience the whole honeymoon phase. I don’t want to bogart her, but she’s pretty fucking amazing!


    • It is a funny phrase. It’s a lot like meeting your friend’s friends in fact. I talked about this at a polyamory meetup group last night and they all looked at me like “duh”. I said I like the people that matter to me to meet each other and I like meeting my partner’s partners. They all said variations of this. Of course you want the people you love to meet each other and know about each other. Duh!

      I’m still new enough that I remember when this would be really frickin’ weird though.


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