The Eggplant Room

One of the hardest parts of being polyamorous is arranging space and time for dates.  Good lord!  Sometimes it feels like it requires Google Calendar, a divining rod, a conference call, a number 2 pencil and the patience of Job.

I think it’s funny by the way that Google Calendar is the tool du jour for polyamory.  Seriously.. I have never been in a group of poly people larger than 2 that Google Calendar didn’t come up.  Poly people love Google Calendar.  I wonder if Google knows this.  They could use this in their advertisements.  “People that are dating 5 people use us because we’re so easy and can easily be shared, modified, added to, or used almost anywhere”.  LOL.  It’s a running joke in at least my little circle that you know it’s really love when you are Google Official (sharing your Google calendar)

A N Y W A Y…

Arranging things can be tough.  Hubby and Roller Girl planned a date Thursday night and Saturday.  She can’t have people over because her ex is a psycho and I couldn’t plan a date with either Traveler or Great Date because Traveler was out of town and Great Date had a Meetup scheduled for Thursday.  So.. they planned to get a hotel both days and I planned to see Roller Girl Monday, Great Date Tuesday for a not overnight date because we had nowhere to go, Hubby Wednesday, nobody Thursday while Hubby was gone and I had the house to myself, nobody Friday, and Traveler on Saturday.  Okay.  Then Roller Girl had to cancel Monday so we rescheduled for Friday.  Neither date was an overnight because we’re kinda distant and need to reconnect.  Great Date’s girl made a date for Tuesday and we were able to have their house until 10 or so, and I could sleep over in their room in the basement if we were quiet after that time.  Excellent.  (By the way.. we were vewwy vewwy quiet.  Huzzah!)

This morning we scheduled a dinner for Thursday and not an overnight even though we thought we still had the house because Great Date has difficulty coming out to my house during the week because of the ferries necessary to get there.

Then Roller Girl was worried she’d be out and away from her daughter on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so Hubby cancelled  his date Thursday with her and plans to have dinner with her tonight instead, cancelling me and Hubby’s date.  Grr… Hubby said he needs to study Thursday though, so I still have a dinner date with Great Date on Thursday.  Oi VEY!

This is nothing.  This is a typical run of the mill week with no real special demands.  FML.

The problem is that Hubby and I don’t fuck other people where we can hear each other yet, and I’m not sure if we ever will.  Traveler lives with his wife and they don’t date at their house while the other is home.  Great Date lives with his ex-girlfriend and is trying to be sensitive to where she is at so dates have to kind of be centered around her still as though she is still his primary sometimes.  Roller Girl lives with her ex who is a fucking psycho.  It’s complicated.  Roller Girl plans to get another place, and Great Dates is working on another place, but nothing has cleared up yet or even will clear up overly fast.

Possible Play Space!


So.. we are thinking of renting a play space.  I found one that is a room rental in this really cool arty Victorian house that is really really close to both my work and a very cool walkable neighborhood with a theater, restaurants, shops and fun stuff.  It’s called the eggplant room.  How cool is that?


  1. Holy Crap. 🙂 Sounds like everyone needs one central organizer that nobody is dating, but is completely in charge of managing all of the schedules (I’m available for a small fee. ;)). I like being organized, but damn, yet another reason why I admire you, your relationships and your ability to manage them.


  2. I love that room, it is the color I want to paint the master bathroom. (look, in a house full of guys, I’ll take what I can get.)
    I remember this from when I was seeing married guy, Drummer, and whoever else. I lived at my parents, MG lived with his wife and 2 kids, so, Drummer and I saw each other quite a bit, because, well, he had his own room. And, there were a couple nights MG’s wife couldn’t find somebody to go out with, but he wanted to see me, so, she just slept on the pull out sofa in the office. That was awkward.


  3. Yes, I can totally relate! I love when I get a Google Calendar invite from Jack for one of our dates. Clara, on the other hand, is an old fashioned pencil and paper calendar girl… so it is up to us to enter her engagements on the calendar, but keeping up with that sort of thing strains my own very challenged organizational skills. The Triad needs a personal assistant! 🙂
    Rented play space has many possibilities!!


    • well, we have a club we can go to to just have sex or whatever, but you can’t spend the night. If you have dates at our own houses we can do more normal stuff and spend the night and such, but it’s sometimes hard to arrange and is like dominoes where one person cancelling or sick mucks up the whole domino chain. So.. having a room where I can go anytime Hubby needs the house or anytime I have a date makes things WAY simpler and more convenient, and I found a cheap one to rent. 🙂


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