Working it Out

Ahhhhh.. once again I’ve proven to myself that a workout cures many ills.  Saturday I had a little.. discussion with Great Date.  I was already having a bit of date drop that morning and I was feeling icky from a big sugary fatty breakfast and then well.. he shared something I didn’t like.  No no no.. it wasn’t about another chick.  Happily I’m getting better with that. I actually even made a suggestion to have this super cute pic of him as his main OK Cupid pic.  (Go me! I like being supportive).  Anywho.. he had some concerns about my new play space and it felt that what he was saying would result in me getting to never or rarely spend the night with him for months.  NOT GOOD.

We talked though, and while I didn’t LOVE our temporary resolution I did feel somewhat better.  But still.. I was just off.  I couldn’t seem to snap out of it.  I went and worked out.  About 5 minutes in, jamming tunes and working up a good sweat I felt a release.  Something began to unknot.  I worked out for a half hour on a kind of elliptical machine and at the end I felt like myself again, sweaty and balanced.  I remembered why I like working out so much.

richard simmons

I had been working out 5 days a week.. and then I’d started dating.  My workouts got pushed aside and pushed aside.. and then.. I almost never worked out.  It’s shocking how much a work out can erase many of my feelings of insecurity, jealousy, hurt, fear, anger, and even loneliness.  I feel balanced and right after a good workout.  I sweat and exorcise demons.  It’s amazing.

Re-energized, I took a good shower and ate a healthy snack.  I talked to a friend briefly.  I felt right with the world.  My problems weren’t erased, but they were better.  I was better.  I could see that while Great Date and I were at a bit of an impasse, it was actually a sign of good things.  We’d disagreed.  We were absolutely not on the same page and we’d been pretty healthy about it. I’d validated his feelings, though I didn’t like them and understood where he was coming from.  He’d listened to mine and validated them too.  We’d both agreed to come off of our positions a little and both wanted to work it out.  We decided to be more flexible.  And here’s the great bit.  We had an amazing date, enjoying each other over great food, a rainy but interesting party, cuddling and talk, and some really hot sex.  (OH MY LORD.. what a huge mess I made).  In the morning we had breakfast and more talk and love and a sexy shower, and then as I went to go he held me and told me that he looked forward to trying spending the night with me at the space again.. giving us back an overnight.

Look at that.. we’d been mature and talked about our differences and our feelings, both of us being honest about what we wanted and needed, and I’d accepted what he’d said.. and though I didn’t like it it had not ruined our wonderful night.

How wonderful.  Maybe like me he couldn’t imagine giving up our wonderful overnights and he’s decided to make the best of an unideal situation, or maybe he is only giving it another shot.  Either way, I’m happy.  I’m glad we are seeming to be able to “fight fair” and glad that we can disagree like adults.  I’m not happy we had conflict, but I’m happy we took it well.  I’m happy I did healthy things to deal with my feelings.

There will be times we’re a little more acrimonious in the future I’m sure, and we’ll have to learn again about forgiveness, but it’s good that our foundation is showing us capable of mature discussion of differences.  I don’t know.. things being not-perfect and still being good just makes me feel more secure and more truly loved.  Thank god for work outs and Great Dates (both the people and the actions).

We’re starting to dream… just a little, and I’m going to include work outs in my dreams.  They really help.  Now, to wake up early enough tomorrow to work out.  🙂


  1. Running has saved my sanity! Between that and an intense yoga practice, oh, and I ride my bike to work 3 miles each way, I just manage to burn off the intense amounts of physical and emotional energy I generate every day! I need it, crave it…oh..I so GET this post. I run at night, in the dark and just let my mind wander where it wants to go. Amazing. Everything is better after a good sweaty workout. Oh, and I think working out regularly – and good deep yoga breathing!! – makes sex so much better.


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