I had a totally sexless date with Great Date. It was actually kind of awesome, and in all fairness he did intend to send me home with a little something something.
I arrived for our date at the place he shares with his ex. She was out for the night and we had it to ourselves provided we had sex on the bed in their basement and not in her bed. Fair enough. I talked over my little meltdown about the Traveler and his Gal thing and then had a talk with Great Date about sex and relationships.
We talked about some things he’s been processing and what would happen if we didn’t always have sex on our dates. I get the fear. This heady early sexy sexy time does fade.. in ALL relationships. We do want to know that we are worth more than just sex. We also want to know what’ll happen if we have differing libidos than our partners.
But, that’s kind of the nice thing about poly. If I want to have a guy who wants to fuck me six ways to Sunday every time I see him and I love Great Date, who wants to fuck, but maybe less than that…. uh.. no problem. To be perfectly honest.. I wouldn’t want a relationship right now with weekly dates where I NEVER or OFTEN didn’t have sex, because I’m not ready to be pen pals, but a date here and there with no sex will not kill me at all. I’m a military wife. I’ve survived a few war tours and a million trips away.
If I’m sexually frustrated, he’s offered to help me out with other methods or be cool if I need a release. Color me happy. Again.. I hate to admit this.. but I am a pretty horny girl. I have a very high sex drive, which has been one of the amazing benefits of poly. I think I kinda need a few lovers. I hate feeling like I’m demanding too much of a partner or like I give them any sense of obligation. I have my moments of ebb and flow, for sure, and I too will cool with time, and I’ve certainly lost interest in a few partners, but I can generally be counted on to want a good roll in the hay.
That I could get to be with and love an amazing guy like Great Date, and that I would only have to be okay with a little ebb here and there, but that even during that I would not HAVE to be sexually frustrated.. wonderful. He’s so fulfilling! We talked and talked and snuggled and kissed and had fun and slept together peacefully. In the morning there was even more wonderful snuggling until we realized he didn’t HAVE to do go the cold basement to fuck me. He could fuck me in the shower, which he’s NEVER DONE!!! Yay!
We got all worked up, I gave him a little head, and we hit the showers. Things were just getting good and steamy when.. bum ba bum.. his ex showed up an hour and a half early and didn’t call or let us know. Good times. Thank God we weren’t actually deep into it in the shower. That would have sucked. As it was it was embarrassing. She found our clothes all over her bedroom and my junk on a table, and she was quietly voicing her displeasure with things when I got out of the shower and finished getting ready. I couldn’t hear most of what she was saying.. but it wasn’t good and it was awkward as hell. I rushed my ass out of there, forgetting my leftovers and feeling like I’d be caught by the parents, and you know.. honestly.. it was STILL a great date.
I LOVE fucking Great Date. LOVE IT. I love everything from his sweet kisses to his fat cock, but I love him more.