Rolling in the Deep

adele-rolling-in-the-deep-mero-mp4_snapshot_03-40_2010-12-11_23-07-58I was up really late last night. I was playing around online and I foolishly went and looked at his blog. I know what he’s doing. I know he’s hurting and so he’s lashing out and trying to hurt me. How much clearer would he be if he wrote:

“It hurts that you left me and that my drinking and lies ruined what we had, so I’m going to rewrite our relationship and pretend that it was never really that good and I’m better off without it. I’m going to show how I don’t love you and maybe never did. I’ll tell you in texts and my blog how she is superior to you; calmer, easier, easier to talk to, less intense, and less demanding.

I’ll talk about my relief that ‘someone is finally OK with things she says she’s okay with’, negating the fact that you endlessly supported me. I’ll pretend you didn’t give me a million pep talks when women stood me up or were mean online. I’ll pretend you didn’t help me flirt or talk me up. I will pretend you didn’t want to swing with me because the idea of sharing me turned you on. I’ll pretend we didn’t fantasize together in and out of bed about the women we’d like to share. I’ll say you were always jealous instead.  I’ll tell you how much I hated supporting you and negate the fact that I always told you how beautiful and easy it was with us and how you recharged me. I know you were jealous of PolyV, so I’ll exploit that too. I’ll do this because I know this will hurt you and I want to make you feel pain”.

I won’t lie and try to pretend it doesn’t work a little. It hurts makes me think he never loved me at all. I will get over it. I listen to music and work-out and talk to loved ones and I’m better. I see the lie in his posts.  I see the lie.

glasses

Rolling in the Deep- Adele

There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it’s bring me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I’ll lay your ship bare
See how I’ll leave, with every piece of you
Don’t underestimate the things that I will do
There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it’s bring me out the dark
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat
Baby, I have no story to be told
But I’ve heard one of you and I’m gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there as mine sure won’t be shared
The scars of your love remind you of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat
Could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
But you played it with a beating
Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow
(Now I’m gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(Now I’m gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
(Now I’m gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Rolling in the deep
(Now I’m gonna wish you never had met me) Y
You had my heart and soul
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
And you played it to the beat
(Now I’m gonna wish you never had met me)
Could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Rolling in the deep
(Now I’m gonna wish you never had met me)
You had my heart and soul in your hand
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat
[From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/rolling-in-the-deep-lyrics-adele.html%5D

4 Comments

  1. “It hurts that you left me and that my drinking and lies ruined what we had, so I’m going to rewrite our relationship and pretend that it was never really that good and I’m better off without it.”

    At least someone finally said the truth.

    Like

  2. I’m sorry you’re hurting. This must be tough. I can’t imagine.
    I once had a rather open relationship with my boyfriend. In our case, he took way more advantage of the openness than I did (and I was only allowed time with other women, not men). It finally became a case for us of no more openness at all, and we had a very dramatic breakup a few months later. It traumatized me for years.
    Good luck with what you’re going through.

    Like

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