With the exception of a minor skirmish, which really had little to nothing to do with me and I luckily didn’t own, it has just been so peaceful. I keep marveling that things are getting calmer and clearer. I don’t have any big answers and I’m not seeking them. I didn’t make any of the stresses in my life disappear, and I changed nobody but me, and yet I feel like I’ve been placed in a position of neutrality.
I’ve been spending time with my friends and by myself a lot, and cooking meals at home more, and connecting here and there with loved ones. It’s just…nice.
I spent the afternoon the other day with a very old friend that I went to basic training with. It was so nice to talk about everything that was going on in her life, and catch her up on mine. She’s known me forever and I have to explain pretty much nothing. She knows me. There is such a comfort in old friends and the familiar. I told her about all that’s been happening and she offered her quiet support.
I also made peace with another old connection. I don’t like having discord with anyone and it was good to bury the hatchet. I got pretty far off the beam, and it’s nice to be coming back. I’m not a person that does turmoil, drama, and angst well and I’ve had some pretty good tsunamis- but I feel like the waters are receding and the rebuilding has begun.
Things are just coming together. I have no idea what I’m building or who will be there with me, and for today that’s alright. The act of building, in itself, is fine.