I’ve been thinking a bit about a conversation I had with a friend the other day. It’s related to the old man/young girl debate we were having. He argued that very very young hot girls would seek out much older middle-aged men like him, if it was just a friends with benefits kind of thing because they liked his skill and experience. It’s not a bad point. Skill and experience are really really good things. I’ve always liked them myself, and I have always dated men older than me.
Here’s the rub though.. these are good to a point. I’ve had a lot of talks with other women about FWB’s, and universally, even us girls at or above 40 are usually not looking for a man in his mid-forties or older as a first choice FWB. Which is kinda silly since many men are wonderful in bed over 40. I mean, sure, we are looking for a man who knows where a clit is, and has some skills at cunnilingus. We like a man who is confident and who likes to take him time and skillfully play. It’s even better if he is also directable, which he can be at any age. And let’s be clear, I’ve had lovers who meet this bill and are well past 40 or as young as 25. Guys that lost their virginity in their teen years are as skilful at 25 as guys who lost it much later are at 35.
BUT, many of us gals would pick a man at least a little younger than 45 for an FWB, so his assertion is a little false. Why? Well, because by and large younger men have better stamina, better rebound, more sexual interest and more energy. Of course this varies by fitness. Men in their 40’s, in my experience, will often go all night or have those marathon sessions in the first.. month or so. Great Date once went 7 times, and he was over 40. But younger men, say mid 30’s, like Traveler, will keep having these marathons, whereas most (but certainly not all) men in their 40’s quickly cool to the once a night and rarely in the morning. And older men, like Great Date, while skillful and amazing, often only go the once per date, which is certainly satisfying and wonderful (you know how much I’ve gushed about Hubby and Great Date) but sometimes a girl would like a little more ardor and a little less “I’m too tired”. Again, I’m talking strictly casual there. Older women understand the value and will still select a man in his 40’s even for an FWB. My assertion is that normal young women do not.
Again, I feel weird writing this because there are so many exceptions, but I am talking generalities here. I was trying to point out a problem with the logic that lots of 20 year old girls want lots of men in their mid-forties for sex. This is patently false. I mean everybody knows this, but it’s still interesting to parse out why.
A hot young girl might crave an older man for his prowess, but I’m telling you that young girls do not sit around perving on middle-aged men’s sexuality. When the average 20 year old craves experience and skill, they are thinking of men in their late twenties or thirties maybe, on average. To most women in their early 20’s, the early 40’s are OLD.
I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a woman of experience and had her not bemoan the cruelty of men slowing a little in their 40’s. It’s cruel of nature that women begin to be so orgasmic and sensual and desirous of play about the time that men of our age are cooling. I’m not saying that I want my lovers to have to go 3-5 times a night, or that it’s vital they ejaculate with every single session,or that sex with a skillful man who only goes once is a bad thing. I LOVE a skillful once too. I’m also wary of saying stuff like this because there are SO MANY exceptions to the rule.
Numbers are only good to a point. I would never pick higher numbers with an unskilled lover. I’m saying that skill is not limited to the 40’s. I’m saying that very young girls wanting skill can find that easily in a younger man.
It’s also true that older men can sometimes make up for less numbers with sexual creativity and things other than their cocks. I think the best thing about a man in his forties sexually is often his amazing passion for and skill at cunnilingus, for example. I am only trying to say, and there is oodles of evidence for this, that MOST very very young girls do not crave men in their 40’s for sex and relationships (and most 40 year old women don’t always crave men in their 40’s for sex only-though many of us do! ). It’s partly because slightly younger men have similar skills with less of the 40’s “problems” sometimes.
Just musing. Thoughts?
******edit- I did not intend to imply that men in their 40’s are BAD lovers. FAR from it. I prefer men in their 30’s and 40’s personally, and I’m 39 years old. I have only had one lover under 35 in the last decade in fact. Partially, this is because I like more than just sex most of the time, and partially this is because I love a skilled lover. I was honestly only wishing to say that the arguement that well adjusted 20 year olds would seek out 40 year olds because of skill was false. ***