I went to my first event at the local kink club. It was a midweek sex party/bdsm party that is usually separate but got smooshed together because there were so few people at the club due to it being the week all the kinksters go out to an all week bdsm camping thing. Cool.
I met a cute foreign guy and was having a lot of fun chatting with him. Another guy came up and was chatting too and would not leave. He was funny though, so I suppose that was okay. Then a girl I’d said I would meet there showed up. I didn’t recognize her because I’d met her with clothes on and was distracted at the moment by her big pretty boobs. We all got to talking and laughing and were having a great time for a while.
Eventually my new friend and her friend wandered off and we shook the guy who wouldn’t let us be alone and we chatted on a couch, this guy and I. After a bit he asked if I wanted to play. I told him that depended what he meant by play. I was not interested in having sex or bdsm playing with this guy at this point. He said he wanted to touch my hand. Oh. Charming. Sure.
We played handsies for a bit and he was cute, so I kissed him. I think he thought “Eureka! The American slut is now ready for me to fuck her. She is mine!”. He was like.. eating my face. He shoved his tongue completely down my throat and was aggressively rooting around my mouth. Something other than just bad kissing felt off here. I recoiled and tried to close my mouth and/or pull away and he put his hand on the back of my head to prevent that. I pushed a little and he pushed harder on the back of my head and became more aggressive. I got more serious, put my hand on his chest and another on his face and pushed harder, separating our mouths. He like.. tongued the air. Yikes.
I told him “No. Stop. Not so much”. He said “I thought you like that”. I had been in a kink club and the girl and I that had been talking had talked about liking Doms. Okay. Maybe he was confused and thought because I was a sub I liked men to be all super aggressive. He isn’t kinky and he’s a foreigner and you could see where his confusion could come in. I said “NO. I don’t like that. It’s too much tongue and too forceful. Not like that”. I was already thinking this was a mistake. There was just something off about him. I was thinking I should leave. He went for another kiss and I allowed it, hesitant.
About 4 seconds into it he placed his hand on the back of my head again and was like… smashing my mouth against him. I can’t explain it, but I knew I was in trouble. This wasn’t just bad kissing. This guy figured he was in. He was not overly concerned with what I thought. It was the presumption I could feel.
I’ll admit it. I got scared. I was glad there was lots of people around and that I could get help to get away from him. I can’t explain it. It was just kissing, but I was prey and not in a good way. I kicked myself for talking cars with him and admitting what I drove. He wasn’t being aggressive or trying to own me in a bdsm way. He’d admitted he wasn’t at all kinky. He was thinking I owed him. He was figuring I was just his for the taking now. And we had not negotiated that.
I know this probably sounds silly. What a fine hair to split. I’m having trouble doing it justice. I was in trouble and it was off. It’s just a thing. I think sometimes your gut just knows. I had been having a misgiving all night and trying to talk to him to figure it out. Cute funny articulate guy… what’s the problem? He was just off and it was like his human mask was slipping, you know?
So there I was with his hand clasped very firmly on the back of my head and another on my back, crushing me to him as he plundered my face. I needed to get away. I put a hand on his chest and another on his face again and pushed. His grip tightened. I pushed hard. I was serious now. He clamped harder. Oh shit. Oh shit. I pushed very forcefully and agressively now and separated our faces and he overpowered me and smashed us together again. Shit shit shit.
I pushed as hard as I could and wriggled my legs under me to stand up and dug my fingers into his arm really hard, pulling it off of my head. When free, his arm still trailing on me looking to make me sit back down, I said very forcefully “NO”. He smiled. I was scared and I wanted to leave, right now. I walked to the desk by the door and he followed me and grabbed my arm. At the desk, I turned and told him “Goodbye. I’m leaving now, alone”. I was really shaken. I should have asked someone to walk me to my car, but instead I ran in my heels, got in, locked the door and got the fuck out of there. I checked my rear view a lot, making sure I wasn’t followed. I texted peaches, really afraid. I feel silly writing this, because it was only a kiss.. I mean he didn’t really do anything, but I was really shaken. You know how sometimes your instincts just.. tell you things? I had been in trouble and I was shaken and glad to be free.
I called my other friend, TexDom (the guy I dated a couple of times a few months ago and wound up being cool friends with). He was cool and understood it. He got me to laugh and told me that next time I could come to his house. He lives close to the club and is a big dude with some really nice guns. That made me feel safe. I had a place to go and someone to watch out for me. He said he’d go with next time if I liked. I hated that I needed some big strong dude to make me feel better, but dammit it did make me feel better.
So, good reminder. Not everyone at the sex/bdsm party is a well adjusted individual. I gotta be a little smarter and handle this shit with care. I’m nice and sometimes that makes me a magnet for crazy. Yep. I found the creep at the sex party.