Cold Comfort

I finally hashed it all out with Hubby.  It’s resolved.  We’re are splitting everything and filing as soon as we can.  Feeling strangely weepy.  It’s funny.. I remember sitting in my apartment hearing him talk to his ex the way he was talking to me just now and thinking.. hmm.. I should pay attention to this.  THIS is how he treats loves when he is over them and mad at them.  I thought he was so unreasonable because she was so awful, and she really was.  But I’m starting to see maybe part of why she was so awful was putting up with his shit there at the end.  I know he sees me as bitter and unreasonable, but he’s so labile and easily angered.  He reacts and yells and cannot reason at all.  Huh.  Guess I should have paid more attention to how he treated his existing and old loves.  He did end up treating me that way some day.  Eh.. 13 years is a good run.

Still.. I got off and was weepy.  There it is.  I know my father would be upset that I am sharing half of his life savings with the man who did to me what Hubby did.  I know he did not want it to go to Hubby, but I can see no other way to be reasonable.  As it ends up I’m walking away with pretty much everything of my father’s and nothing from our marriage.. if you add it up.  I guess that gives me a little comfort.  Fine.. I’m not splitting my dad’s money.  I am just not taking our marital assets.  Oddly I DO find this comforting.  (We really just split everything down the middle). 

So.. a little cry and some music.

Traveler called and it turns out he stayed home from work today too and worked on paperwork and business.  (That’s what I did all day).  He didn’t shower yet either.  I’m packing a bag and starting my night by fucking my boyfriend in the shower, getting some loves, and then playing WoW with some pizza.  There are definite advantages to this way of life. 

I had a scheduling snafu and was pretty bummed I won’t see Cleveland tonight, but thankfully he is amazing and can see me Wednesday.  There are even more advantages to dating sweet wonderful grown men.  I gotta make that up to him somehow…..

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