Fuck Me. No.. really.

I need.  Today was the big rehearsal/planning cluster for my big project at work and I returned to the office after an all day stress-fest tired and hungry.

Hubby called.  He asked some businessy stuff and then totally lost his temper.  My coworkers could hear him yelling at me, as I’ve told him that they can when he calls and screams at me at work.  After I told him I had to go a few times because a patient had arrived and was standing there, listening to him scream at me I hung up.  My patient said “Wow.  Your husband is a fucking dick.  I think every time I come in here he’s yelling at you”.  Awesome.

Truth be told that’s just dumb luck as it’s not like Hubby calls and yells at me daily nowadays when we barely talk.  It’s indicative though.  My coworker, hearing this exchange spun around and said “it’s weird and I have to tell you, but I’m really glad you’re getting divorced.  That guy clearly doesn’t respect you and he never listens.  He’s always yelling about stuff you aren’t even talking about and he gets mad at you for absolutely nothing.  Maybe you could suggest he get counseling…”

Great.  Not for nothing, but I work in mental health.  He apologized later, saying he was sorry he got so upset, but he is fearful of all of this divorce stuff.  Too bad he still.. still.. after all our years of marriage doesn’t know me.  I’d never screw him over because it’s not how I’m wired.  I’m angry and hurt and I’m not letting him off the hook, because he’d behaved atrociously, but I’m not sinking in the mud with him.  I will leave this with my dignity (mostly) intact, knowing I did the right thing.  I stayed at work and did divorce paperwork for another two hours after I got off.  I need to get this stuff filed and extricate myself from him.

After a long hard day like today and the last few days of divorce junk… I want to be fucked.  I’d like to be spanked till I am red and squirming and no longer in my mind, but in my body, all pain and sensation and desire, and to fuck like a damn animal.  I’d like to be choked and fucked till I don’t know if I’m dying and I cum, releasing all of this.. all of it in pure clean animal joy.

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