Sowing More Oats

I sowed a lot of my oats back in the day.  Before marriage I was a casual girl and I’ve done most of my experimenting and hooking up with random people long ago.  I became monogamous and committed in fact because I wanted to have something with a little more depth.  Connection and love and real intimacy were the uncharted territories for me. 

But… I do still have a few interests.

I have a list of kinky things I want to do.  I also want to have a few experiences I didn’t.  I’d like to try swinging.  Cleveland was a swinger and knows a little something about it.  I don’t know that I’d become a big swinger or do it a lot, but I’d like to give it a try.  Cleveland and I have talked about it on and off since we began dating.  His interests these days seem to lie more in relationships too, but he’s totally down to doing a little swing here and there maybe. 

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And it’s actually happening.  We just booked our trip to Portland!  There’s a really good club there, apparently. I found myself the teensiest bit nervous last night when we booked our room.  I asked Cleveland if we needed to have any agreements.  I think he was mostly amused at my request.  He didn’t seem to think we’d need many.  I started to get mildly annoyed at him, sort of looking at him to be my resident expert and help me know what I might want to address or figure out with him.  The problem is that I don’t even know what to ask.

We talked about same room vs separate and would both like same room.  I don’t really want to swing to rack up more sex partners.  I want to share a couple with Cleveland and have the voyeur/exhibition thing.  Agreed.  Check.  I don’t want to put a bunch of weird rules on the types of sex allowed (no kissing/head only for me/whatever) because that always made things odd for me in threesomes.  A fun sexy experience seems to be more fun when it’s allowed to go where it will, and frankly I don’t care what he does and wouldn’t want to be limited myself.  I told him if he wants to do it and “she” consents to do it with him, to have fun.  Agreed.  Check.  Now about safe sex. 

Hmm.  Apparently most swingers don’t use barriers for oral sex.  I know a lot of people assume it’s pretty much relatively safe, but the facts are that it’s actually fairly risky these days.  Gonorrhea is super prevalent in the area.  I would never give a stranger head without a condom.  There are just too many people I could effect if I brought something home.  I use condoms with Traveler and Cleveland, but not for oral because we are all tested and safe.  Well, fuck it.  They can think I’m weird or refuse head from me if they like.  I am choosing to protect my partners, just in case.  Condoms aren’t a perfect method, but I just can’t justify exposing people I love unnecessarily.  I guess poly people are a little more conscientious about this than swingers.  Whatever.  

Cleveland said that if we go and anything is the slightest bit uncomfortable or I prefer it for any reason then he and I can just have fun at the club together, maybe fuck a little publicly.  Good.  I love that.  No matter what we’ll have a great time.

We decided there would be no big taking one for the team and that we wanted to only play as a couple.  I hemmed and hawed getting there and then called myself on it.  I realized I needed to just ask for what I wanted.  I didn’t want to find myself in a situation where I really hated that guy and he liked the girl and they went off to play alone or whatever.  I leveled with him about that and asked for what I wanted and he laughed and said “of course!”.  He let me know that nothing at all had to happen and that it’s always more fun to go with no expectations. 

So, we’ll see.  I may just fuck Cleveland in a swanky club in Portland or I may enjoy another couple with him, watching and being watched.  A huge part of it is just that I have never been and I’d like to.  And besides, I’m FINALLY getting to Portland!  Here I come great bookstore, donuts and art!

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