It’s official and the entire world reads this damn thing. One of my roommates found the blog and recognized our livingroom in a pic of shelves I built.
A) One of my roommates is trying to work with me to find a compromise because hearing me have sex bothers her. Before you jump on that, I’d like you to know why I’m trying to work on this with her and really try to see it from both sides. I like living here and I like my roommates, as I said. It’s also important to me that we are ALL as comfortable as is reasonable in our home, which I also said. It’s just as clear to me that I cannot have any kind of sex I like here, because I’m the only one that matters, as it is to me that a roommate cannot expect that adults will quit having sex or have to make it impossible for their roommates to tell that sex is happening at all.
So we are taking some steps. For starters I’m going to let her know the evenings that I have dates so she can choose or not choose to work around those days. I know it’s not something that adults should have to do, but I’m trying to help. We are also talking about a white noise machine, me continuing to be reasonable with the noise and using my music, and maybe having her consider some kind of headphones or playing the TV or something. We are going to keep working on it and we had a nice opening conversation about it. The other roommate said she hasn’t been disturbed at all since things have been quiet.
B) I did not mean to imply that my roommates were prudish. I don’t think that about them.
C) The loud stupid sex I totally understood and stopped. I felt so stupid but I hadn’t had roommates for nearly 15 years and just wasn’t thinking. The quieter sex though I was frustrated to think would be upsetting or would become a wedge making things weird in the house. Being able to tell sex is happening (not loud obnoxious sex but normal sex) is a thing most adults accept.