Happy Trails

chicago signI’m in Chicago with my good friend and having a ton of fun and a lot of great conversation.  You know those people in your life that you just have these meandering conversations about everything and nothing?  It’s thought provoking and funny and interesting and sad and healing.  There’s a comfort to people that have known you forever and love you warts and all.  I’m a lucky girl.

One of the most painful parts of this divorce has been this feeling that I am so alone and that I will always be alone, and I’m just not.  It’s absolutely saved my ass that I have the beautiful relationships I have in my life.  I look back over the last six months and see all of these moments where I was loved and held and talked to and listened to and reassured and encouraged.  I see Traveler’s Wife just getting it and cracking me like a walnut, Peaches and I commiserating, Traveler being the poor unfortunate soul who held me while I cried at each of the really bad blows, Cleveland’s sweet face and kind touch, especially after my dog died, Ph.D’s conversations and assurances that as long as he lives I’ll never be totally alone, and my friend here in Chicago knowing Hubby and I so well, having lived with us and having been a friend to both of us for years, asking questions only she would know to ask.  I hate that I have needed every bit of this but I’m so grateful it was there.

My Chicago friend and I have stayed up late and seen little of Chicago, because the flow of words has trapped us in doorways and made us stop in a million places, deep in conversation.  We’ve been catching up and diving a little deep, like we do, and I am having revelations and prompting them in her too by the cart-full.  There’s been a lot of laughter too.  It’s just good.

chicago wreathI’m loving this city and even the cold that is stealing all the moisture from my body.  I feel inspired by all the art and talk and food and life.

I have to admit though, I miss my loves.  I don’t love that all of our travels this month will keep us apart, but I know it’ll be fun to come together and share our stories again.  God I can’t wait.

I’m off to hit a bakery and get a Chicago dog on my way out of town.  Funny that we’re walking and eating our way through this trip.  🙂chicago eataly


  1. You don’t know how much I’m smiling right now! This post fits my life right now, too. I was on the phone until 4 talking to one of my bbf’s; we’ve been friends since we were six. She loves me & I’m so thankful for having her in my life & I’ve recently become acquainted with someone who was friends with my friend who passed this summer. It was such a comforting feeling to talk to someone else who loved him. This year has been hard as hell, but damn it, I’m still kicking. I will celebrate my upcoming birthday, knowing I’m much stronger than I thought, I’m never alone as I sometimes feel & that I’m on my way to becoming the person I was truly meant to be.


  2. There is something so beautiful about visiting that city, while I lived in Waukegan I visited often and had the same feeling of inspiration. That same pull to just love Chicago, maybe it was the people, maybe that city is a little bit of magic…


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