My boyfriend and I were sending each other sweet sexy pics when he dumped me flat for a phone call. I texted an appreciative response and a pic and he just stopped responding. Radio silence. Some time later he popped back up and said “sorry I was on the phone with _______”. Harumph. That kinda smarted. He didn’t mean it that way and to be honest I do kinda get it, and it’s not a hill I want to die on. It doesn’t feel good to be dumped like fucking bologna but I’m gonna chalk it up to bad timing and a slight insensitivity and let it go. I’m gonna tell you about my crush instead.
Oh my god I have a crush. I think I’ve had something like 3 crushes in my entire life, so it took me a while to realize it. I have a crush!
There is this girl who belongs to the NSPP (a poly group I am finally a member of and adore) and I find myself drooling on her in the virtual world. She seems so witty and funny and pretty and sexy and just.. awesome. She’s WAY out of my league, sadly, but damn do I enjoy crushing on her. She’s vivacious and she sends out these occasional sexy snap chats, and comments now and then on the NSPP board. I get a little thrill each time I see I have a snap from her. I thought she was just foxy when I saw her snaps, but she was so beautiful I had to check her out. I went and looked at the public version of her Facebook and OKCupid profile. Ahem. She was even more amazing.
She’s an intelligent and accomplished woman. She seems like a genuine and interesting person. She says cool things about relationships and sex and love. She says a lot of other cool things. We’re actually a pretty good match. Sadly she also seems like a very very popular person who is overwhelmed with dating prospects. Drats. Of course she is. She’s a phenomenon! She’s a science geek. She’s crazy hot. She likes to play roll playing games. She has cool hobbies. She has dizzyingly delicious curves. She has long thick hair and a beaming smile. She talks a lot about joy and laughter and smiling in her profile. She seems so cool I’d desperately want to know her even if she weren’t smoking hot. I may giggle uncontrollably or be struck dumb if I ever see her at an event. It was slow at first.. “Oh, would you look at that sexy snap. Wow. That girl is stunning”. It’s quickly becoming “I think I’ll just read her profile one more time and compare our answers to the dating questions again. Maybe we would hit it off if we ever met. Maybe I’d really get that lucky. You never know. Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett. Stranger things have happened. Maybe she’d like a short ‘little too curvy’ girl”. I’m smart and I have cool interests too. Okay.. so I’m not really in this girl’s league. Maybe I can hope for a really cool heart or a strangely reciprocal appreciation.
Gulp. I can’t. What would I say?
I’ll just give her a bunch of stars on OKC. Maybe that will make her smile.
It’s kinda fun to have a crush.