I have a crush

My boyfriend and I were sending each other sweet sexy pics when he dumped me flat for a phone call.  I texted an appreciative response and a pic and he just stopped responding.  Radio silence. Some time later he popped back up and said “sorry I was on the phone with _______”.  Harumph.  That kinda smarted.  He didn’t mean it that way and to be honest I do kinda get it, and it’s not a hill I want to die on.  It doesn’t feel good to be dumped like fucking bologna but I’m gonna chalk it up to bad timing and a slight insensitivity and let it go.  I’m gonna tell you about my crush instead.


Oh my god I have a crush.  I think I’ve had something like 3 crushes in my entire life, so it took me a while to realize it.  I have a crush!

There is this girl who belongs to the NSPP (a poly group I am finally a member of and adore) and I find myself drooling on her in the virtual world.  She seems so witty and funny and pretty and sexy and just.. awesome.  She’s WAY out of my league, sadly, but damn do I enjoy crushing on her.  She’s vivacious and she sends out these occasional sexy snap chats, and comments now and then on the NSPP board.  I get a little thrill each time I see I have a snap from her.  I thought she was just foxy when I saw her snaps, but she was so beautiful I had to check her out.  I went and looked at the public version of her Facebook and OKCupid profile.  Ahem.  She was even more amazing. 


She’s an intelligent and accomplished woman.  She seems like a genuine and interesting person.  She says cool things about relationships and sex and love.  She says a lot of other cool things.  We’re actually a pretty good match.  Sadly she also seems like a very very popular person who is overwhelmed with dating prospects.  Drats.  Of course she is.  She’s a phenomenon!  She’s a science geek.  She’s crazy hot.  She likes to play roll playing games.  She has cool hobbies.  She has dizzyingly delicious curves.  She has long thick hair and a beaming smile.  She talks a lot about joy and laughter and smiling in her profile.  She seems so cool I’d desperately want to know her even if she weren’t smoking hot.  I may giggle uncontrollably or be struck dumb if I ever see her at an event.  It was slow at first..  “Oh, would you look at that sexy snap.  Wow.  That girl is stunning”.  It’s quickly becoming “I think I’ll just read her profile one more time and compare our answers to the dating questions again.  Maybe we would hit it off if we ever met.  Maybe I’d really get that lucky.  You never know.  Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett.  Stranger things have happened.  Maybe she’d like a short ‘little too curvy’ girl”.  I’m smart and I have cool interests too.  Okay.. so I’m not really in this girl’s league.  Maybe I can hope for a really cool heart or a strangely reciprocal appreciation.   

ImageMaybe I’ll send her a message. 

Gulp.  I can’t.  What would I say?

I’m chicken.

I’ll just give her a bunch of stars on OKC.  Maybe that will make her smile.

It’s kinda fun to have a crush. 



  1. I say you’d be surprised at who would respond to your advances. Many people who seem to have their lives all together and way too hot to be interested are just the ones who are looking for someone like you. Don’t sell yourself short. People are people and we are all humans first. Good Luck.


  2. I agree with oceanswater, don’t undersell yourself….. I will take this opportunity to admit my crush on you SeatlePolyChic. Every time I see a post, I get all excited, and rush to read it. I’ve been following you for a while and wish I lived closer to Seattle so that I could chat with you in person, but for now I can just live vicariously through your posts.


  3. I actually hate it when people say “I never thought they’d go out with me because they are out of my league”. Usually people in happy long term relationships with said person. It makes me sad, both to see them put somebody up on a pedestal, and to see them devalue themselves all in one fell swoop.
    If you really just enjoy the crush, I wouldn’t worry about acting on it but… I was interested on somebody from OKC for a year before I wrote to them, and they didn’t write back. Really made me wish I’d just written right away and saved the wondering if I should write or not.
    And really…what do you say? You know this shit! Hi, I’ve seen you on the NSPP board and ran across your profile here. I also really like doing X. You say you do Y for a hobby and I’ve always thought that was cool, how did you get into it? Are you going to the Z event later this month? I always like meeting interesting people.
    Ha, people are so cute when they have crushes.


    • It’s awesome to be called on my stuff and even more awesome when it includes helpful feedback. Hmmm.. I practically have the message there. 😉

      For the record, I don’t think she’s too “together” for me. I think she’s too hot for me. She’s a lot younger and hotter. That’s all. I am enjoying the crush a lot, but maybe I’ll send her a message eventually. Hey.. I have the template now. 🙂


  4. I agree with everyone else here, don’t sell yourself short. A lot of times people are afraid to hit on someone because they think they are not good enough in some aspect. If you watch, you will see someone not near as attractive get the girl because no one had the nerve to hit her up. What is the absolute worst that could happen? She says get lost, so BFD. Remember faint heart never sold a vacuum cleaner. You might just get lucky and you know if you don’t say anything, you are sure as hell not going to get lucky!


  5. League shmeague. I remember you saying something similar on one of your podcasts regarding a different situation. I thought it was sort of a cute display of insecurity, but now I’m totally calling you on it too. ~Ginger


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