This Has Been Compromised

hulk rageWell.. a lot of things have come to a head.  The old problem with my roommate situation has arose again and I’m throwing in the towel.  My roommate and I had a talk and I can’t really talk about it much here because she (they?) have been reading the blog and are upset.

This is kind of hard, mostly because I’m hurt and angry and this is where I would talk about my feelings but it’s being used to judge me.  I was told that they’d read and discussed the blog and this is why I’ve been made to feel so unwelcome in my home.  I’m getting more and more angry the more I think about it honestly.  I’m not going to quote anyone, but fuck off that I can’t talk about my feelings about this.  Kink made me a person of bad character?  Screw off.

For the record.. this is a blog.  It’s not the New York Times.  I write about my feelings and opinions and experiences here.  EVERYTHING IN THIS BLOG IS MY OPINION.  I do not claim to be a journalist.  It’s a blog about love and sex and relationships and the whole damn thing is about feelings.  It’s a blog!  It is and always will be my view of things.  People who have other views can feel free to write their own blogs.  I am as honest as I can be here, but it is all from my perspective and my view and my opinion.  There.  Anyone who doesn’t understand what a blog is should feel informed.

I have been unfairly judged and I think it’s crap that I’m the only one who is expected to make compromises or sacrifices.  I think it’s pretty asinine and I feel stupid that I tried so hard.  I was actually texting my schedule like a little kid, and tried hard to remember that they preferred this info in text.  It was out of line to ask for, but I was happy to try to make things work with something as un-time consuming as a text.  If it made things better it was worth it.  In the end I was blamed for things I can’t POSSIBLY have caused and was told that both of my roommates wanted me gone because of my “lack of character”.   Anyone offended by what I talk about here should really consider not reading my blog.  Duh.  If you don’t want to know my feelings or experiences or thoughts you should not read my blog.

So I started apartment hunting and may have found a good place.  It’s pretty cool and in my price range and best of all.. has no fucking judgements about an adult life that includes dating and/or sex in my home.  I agreed to try to move out by February 1st and my roommate agreed to cover any rent they incur if they don’t get a roommate after then since she is requesting I break my lease when I don’t want to move.  Frankly I don’t want to have to have the work and expense of a move, but I can’t stand living here with that kind of negative energy so I’ll be relieved and I’m glad she owned that so I could leave as she’d asked me to and on her time line.  I won’t do anything to be an ass because it isn’t who I am.  Contrary to popular opinion in some parts, I am a person of character.  If I weren’t I would have said “if you have the problem YOU move” or “I am on the lease and you have ZERO right to ask me to move” or “I’m not a little kid and I won’t text you all my whereabouts”.  Nope.  I’m gonna take my shit and consider my blessings.

17 Comments

  1. Omg… are you serious??? I am so sorry that you have had to live with problems like that. Hopefully you can find something that will work for you and although you don’t WANT to move maybe it will give you more freedom to do what you want… such as dancing around nakie in the living room… lol

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  2. This is why I am so terrified to let anyone I talk about in my blog read it, even though I change the names. I need a place where I can be unfiltered. If they start reading, I will necessarily feel the need to preserve their feelings. I am afraid I would lose the catharsis this place has afforded me.

    Good luck on the move! I hope you find the perfect place! 🙂

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  3. That’s terrible. I have a friend who really wants to start a very open poly blog but feels she can’t do it because anyone could read it, and some people couldn’t handle what she would have to say. We should just be able to express ourselves without judgement. Anyway, good luck!

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  4. I’m sorry that you are being judged. That really sucks. Your suggestions above to remain anonymous are very valid and should be followed but you can’t control snooping. My troubled metamour found the link to my private blog through my love’s email account, once again blowing her own DADT policy and caused a world of hurt from what she read. More drama.
    Good luck … I enjoy reading your posts.

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      • No. I don’t want to make it private and have talked to all the people involved with me about it and gotten consent. As for people outside of my relationships and making judgements of me based on what they read, well… That’s a chance I take. I’m out, so there’s little harm there, and people don’t want to live with me or be my friend or whatever because they read one part of a story.. That’s on them. I have finally reached the point where I don’t give a shit. If they want to judge me or can’t live with me then that’s on them. This one isn’t mine and I’m not picking it up. I’m happily moving. They’re good people and I’m good people and we just don’t live well together. I wish them the best. We said all we could say. I’m not going to close or turn off or hide my blog because someone doesn’t like it.

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  5. Hi SPC… metamour relationships have been popping up a lot lately in my world. Thanks for sharing your relationship with Traveller’s Wife. It helps me with perspective. That said, I wrote about metamours and reference your blog. I probably should have discussed that with you first. If you want, I can take it down.
    Good luck with the new move. I hope you enjoy your new space and freedon.

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