Sometimes in life we are trying to do the impossible, or at least the improbable. We want X. We’d like X. X would make us feel lovely. We want the object of our affection, a person in this case called X, and we want them in a certain way. We want to be poly or open or want them to let us shoot skeeball every weekend with our buddies. We want them to grab us by our hair and throw us down and they want to light candles and dance in gossamer. Maybe this thing isn’t really who X is.. but maybe they are just close enough? If it’s a small thing, say skeeball that we don’t really care that much about or that they don’t.. maybe a compromise can be made. If it’s a more integral thing to a relationship, say we aren’t sexually compatible, or they want to date others and we aren’t cool with that or they like to spend every penny they make and we wanna get married and have a life of security.. well.. now we have a problem.
I’ve seen people twist themselves into knots trying to be something they aren’t. Sometimes we don’t throw in the towel because we are just close enough that we think maybe they’ll give or maybe we will. Maybe we can make ourselves accept the unacceptable. Maybe if we dig deeper or try harder. Maybe we can make them in this way not be them. Maybe.. maybe.. we can make a goat sing.
We try to give the goat milk, table scraps, a fine coat of black. We brush the goat. Shine the goat. We play it Brahms and Chopin. We get it jazz and dance with it to jaunty tunes. We are sweet about our ministrations or forceful. We try everything we have in our bag of tricks. We demand, beg, pled, borrow, reason with and cajole. If it’s not going to happen then it’s not going to happen. It’s so close to right that we try and try and try to make the goat sing. But goats, well.. they don’t sing.
If it ain’t right it ain’t right. And it hurts everyone to keep trying to make the goat sing. It’s a goat. It needs to go to goaty things. We need to let it. We need to expend our energy on things that are more likely to sing. We need to be free to think about trying songbirds, whales, hyenas and wolves. We need something that sings and it’s okay to want something that sings, but we have to admit it. We have to say to ourselves, self.. look.. I need a singer. This is a goat. Goats don’t sing. It’s a great goat.
It’s cute and fluffy and jumps all cute. It can balance on the back of a horse and it’s milk makes lovely cheese. It’s got cute horns and sharp hooves and it’s very lovely in a goaty kind of way. So We love it for what it is and set it free, and find ourselves a singer.