I haven’t written a blog in something like 5 days. It’s not that I’m not thinking things or that I don’t have anything to say. It’s that I don’t have anything right now that I *can* say. My little anonymous blog isn’t so anonymous. Quinky Girl and I were talking about how sometimes you have to be careful what you say. It’s a lesson I’ve learned painfully more than once. I’ve said things I didn’t think were a big deal that were to others, thoughtlessly hurting people. I’ve had people totally misunderstand the things I said or hear in them their own fears and insecurities. I’ve just written some things poorly. I’ve used my blog as a way to release tensions.. letting them out and letting them go and having them boomerang. Very early on I tried to be funny and was hurtful, very hurtful, to a truly good human being. I don’t get a say in how my words are interpreted and I likely don’t always know all the effects they have.
I trust people to be adults and to police themselves by and large. It’s a love, sex and relationship blog and if adults would be upset or angry or disapproving of any of the things I have to say about my love, my sex, or my relationship, I hope that they will move on. I don’t read things that upset me. But here’s the thing. I have no way of knowing or guaranteeing that people will police themselves. I can say that people chose this then, to upset themselves reading a silly blog, but the thing is that feelings can have real consequences. So, I feel kinda crippled at the moment to talk much about what I’m thinking. I care about ALL of the pieces in this big moving puzzle.
I can tell you that generally I think things with me are good. As for my love, my sex, and my relationships, I feel… tremendous. Wonderful things are happening and I really like where I am and where I’m going. I want to go on and on about that, but I feel like it’s a bad idea. I’m worried about other things in the lives of those I love, but there isn’t much I can do about them directly so I’m trying to be supportive. Patience isn’t my strong suit, but I’m proud that I have more than enough right now. I tend to take on the emotions of others at times and I’m not right now, and I’m proud of that too.
I think I’m going to do a post answering a bunch of questions I’ve gathered and I’ve decided to interview The Murder to do it. That’ll buy me time to figure out what to say about other things. I have kinky adventures coming up, and I promise I’ll find more to say. Good lord… I can’t be shut up that easily. 🙂