When someone goes and reads through all the old blog posts I can see it and I get an alert that my stats are going crazy. I can tell the difference when it’s a machine mapping me and when it is someone reading and/or listening to all the old podcasts. I love that.
I always wonder if it’s someone I know reading back on things or someone new, maybe someone that relates to something about all of this. I always hope it isn’t someone new to poly looking for reassurance, because I’m afraid the history here doesn’t look so good. I suppose it does if they keep reading.
I often write with no thought to who might be reading, purposely not thinking about those who read it because that kinda paralyses me sometimes. Other times I write with someone in mind.. a letter to them I never send.. my heart aching for my lover or giddy remembering some thing.
Right after one of these, seeing someone reading dozens of blogs I always wish I could write to YOU. I always wonder what brings you here or why you come back or stay. I wonder if you relate, if there are others out there with thoughts like these. Every once in a great while one of those readers emails me or comments on a little thing here or there, and it’s a reward each time. If I never hear from you, if whatever it is you are here for wouldn’t jibe with contacting me, I just wanted to say thank you, and I hope it helped or entertained or made you feel or whatever. Thank you for reading, new or old reader. Thank the rest of you for reading too. I can’t tell you what it means to have a place to put all of this stuff where there is occasionally community or at the very least stats that say someone saw this.. usually a lot of you saw this. I watch my stats like a hawk and I am rewarded when the numbers go up or I see one that maybe clicked a bit. I celebrate each milestone of readers and thrill to see the posts that are most clicked on or visited. I just wanted to say I don’t know who you are, but I know you’re there and I wanted to say welcome and thanks.