Pining

I’m not discarded or lonely, but I pine

I find it funny, no ironic, that I’ve tried every sort of life and found them all the same

because *I* was in them

I always took me when I wandered

and the licking at my heels isn’t chasing me.  It’s trailing.

it’s what I seek, create, build, maintain.  I yearn.  

and lately.. lately when I hold you I want to tell you things, all the things, spilling out of my heart

sometimes I can’t stop them and it’s like a reverse drowning, the ocean pouring out of me in my words

and they wash over you

you weather them and amazingly, return them

you fill me in ways I stopped hoping for a long time ago

I learned to be whole and complete a long time ago

even with my unending little want

and you touch me there, hold me there

for your own pure joy, with your very nature

I never knew there was another like me

and then.. here I am.. with this ache, this pine, this burn

and it’s delicious

falling asleep dreaming of you, wanting you

 

 

 

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