*** Just a small correction. I accidentally gave the impression that I was upset and one of my relationships was in trouble or something. That’s clumsy writing and not the case at all. I was disgruntled and disappointed about one tiny bit of a plan being messed up, not the whole enchilada. Sorry about that! So, clarification. My relationships are good and I’m happy.. almost goofily so. I was just venting about a disappointment and a sticky minute. Having gotten to do that, I feel a lot better and things are still totally cool. They were the whole time. I was talking about a small part of a plan, not a whole association. :)***
I know it’s not a misunderstanding. I didn’t get it wrong. I am aware I didn’t. We put it there in black and white together and excitedly discussed the plan a bunch of times, laying out all of the maybes and talked about our lists of fun shit to do. They changed their minds and don’t want the plan any more. They had to change it. When I balked I had slippery sand for my feet, so I said “I guess it’s just a misunderstanding”. I was trying to save my face and not admit my disappointment because they were making me feel small for protesting. It worked.
I know it isn’t a misunderstanding and they know it isn’t too.
“I thought this and I didn’t think it’d be a huge deal”.
What am I going to do? Demand they want what they said they wanted? Throw a fit over something small and rather insignificant, even if it is a wrench right in the middle? Make a big deal over something so tiny?
Nope. They know I’m not fooled and are giving me an out too. They’re letting me say it doesn’t matter. I’m disappointed. Stuff I was excited about isn’t going to happen. I mean, no puppies will die over it, but yeah… I am legitimately a little disappointed.
They are totally allowed to change their minds and I’m totally allowed to feel disappointed about it. And I suppose we’re both allowed to give each other the out.
“It’s a misunderstanding” and “I didn’t think it would be a big deal”. Kinda bullshit.
But it’s a bullshit that lets us both save face and keep the peace I crave. They aren’t made to feel bad for feeling like they had to do something that frankly kinda sucks. And I am not forced to acknowledge that I’m the big dumb dog who was left still wanting what we both said we wanted after they changed their mind. I hate almost nothing more than being the big dumb dog.
And now to remember is really is a small thing, have my tiny pout, let it out and let it go, and move on. Well kiss my grits.