NSPP is a Facebook group of approximately 700 people as of this writing. It is based in Seattle and is primarily a social/activity group. They host oodles of events and members can post events too if they would like. And there is a LOT of misinformation out there, judging from my emails. I have to admit I had some bad conceptions too, and I’m a member and have been to events. So I wanted to post this.. just as myself, to help readers. I am in no way official for NSPP. Everything in my blog is my opinion. And here is mine about NSPP.
First, how do people get in or find it?
From their facebook page info:
Inviting new members
To become a member of the NSPP, you must be at least 18 and no longer enrolled in high school.
If an individual wants to join, they need to be sponsored by a current member and must attend an event. Exceptions to the event requirement can be made for partners or long time friends as needed. Membership is limited to those that identify as poly, poly-curious, or are dating someone who is poly. Those who do not meet the criteria may still apply for membership and be considered on a case-by-case basis.
The next question is understandably usually, “What if I don’t know anyone in the NSPP?”. Well. That happens. You can’t find their events to attend one unless you are a member or know a member. But there is a method to their madness.
Having membership work this way means that to be a member you have to actually come to something and to know what to come to you have to be invited and this means you are in the poly community or connected. If you are not yet connected or don’t know anyone, you can start by meeting more poly people either by attending poly socials or events at the Center for Sex Positivity in Seattle, or by attending either the Seattle Polyamory Meet-up Group, or the Seattle Poly Professionals Meetup Group or any other poly groups you find online. There are actually lots. You can find the meetups by going to meetup.com. When you make some poly friends and connections you are likely to run across an NSPP member because the community isn’t THAT big and with 700 members, Nispees sure do get around. 😉
Second, what about these things I heard about NSPP?
Well. I too made assumptions that I shouldn’t have made. I became a Nispee and went to a couple of things. I chose the smaller things because I’m not really a ballgown-and-crowd kinda gal. I got my fill of that kinda shit before I was even a Navy wife. I am just not interested in costume-balls and galas. I met a few people off of the Facebook feed. It turns out that I interacted with maybe a small little group within the NSPP larger group that didn’t necessarily represent the whole. One of the gentleman I met for a friendly coffee made it clear he’d like to have unprotected sex with me. He said he could “just tell” that I was safe because “I’m a really good judge of character” and “besides, you’re a Nispee now, so I know you’re okay”. Um. This is so not how safer-sex works. I was not interested in him and argued my point about not using “gut feelings” to determine who had STI’s. During his argument though he insisted that one of the things he liked about NSPP and their sexy events was that they could be freer about such things. I’m not stupid. I chalked that up to a dude trying to make a case for whatever it was he wanted and using the “but everyone is doing it” offense. Yeah. I’m not 13. Move along.
But, it happened again. I met a guy on OKC that was a fellow NSPP and he made it clear that he also hoped to have unprotected sex that night. He explained that he knew it was safe because I was in NSPP and “in our circle everyone is tested and everyone is poly, so it’s safer. When we have sexy parties and stuff, or if you hook up with someone from NSPP you don’t have to worry about stuff like barriers, and you can just be a lot freer because it’s totally cool that we all sleep together, you know?” Nobody had submitted ME to any testing, and I’d signed no behavior contract or been vetted by any process to guarantee that I was free of any STI’s, so this was really an odd stance. But it skived me out that their views of the NSPP were so similar. They were both really active members, much more active than me. I hate to admit it, but based on this scant evidence I’d sorta formed the opinion that NSPP sexy type events weren’t for me and that I didn’t really want to be too involved with NSPP stuff.
Yes, yes.. I know this is not the greatest reasoning. Deciding that 200 and some members (at the time) did certain things because two horny guys said that did wasn’t exactly applying very scientific analysis. I recently met and befriended a few other NSPP members and realized I had maybe made a not wholly accurate judgement based on rather slim “facts”. I’ve talked to more friends who are members about my thoughts and realized they were pretty off. My friends’ experiences at NSPP sexy parties was that consent and safer sex and such things ARE generally really respected. They were aghast at my stories and my opinion. Whoops.
I have to admit most of what I’ve heard about NSPP people and events has been really positive, and the friends I know who are members are all pretty stand-up people. I’d made a hasty judgement call based on a really small sample. Whoops. Some nerd I am.
So, if you’re poly or dating a poly person or whatever, and you are in the Seattle area, maybe find some poly community and attend a thing or two and make your own judgement. I think I might hit a few more events too. 🙂