I love it when I hit a little jag and spiral on a sexy interest. It fascinates and excites me.
I’m still having fun chatting with people from Craigslist, even if I met a couple people that were totally not a good fit, one that totally was a great fit and that never contacted me again, and one that I had the fun night with. But an old desire might be eclipsing my little jaunt into the world of rare and fun casual sex with dudes from Craigslist.
It’s women. More specifically it’s women to share.
We met one woman that was insanely pretty and was also smart and funny and interesting and seemed like a great fit. We’ll see what happens when we are all back in town. We met (only online) a girl that turned out to be cray cray, and another that was also insane. Both ironically had issues of sexual safety that would make them a no-go. We aren’t fashion plates and neither of us expects fashion plates either. We both have a pretty broad range of what we find attractive and both appreciate people that are fun to talk to and that we have chemistry with over some ridiculous hard body or whatever. But still, finding the right situation or situations can take time. And I have to admit that’s fine by me.
Of course I am full of sexy thoughts now and revved up from sexy chats with Traveler about all we desire and hope to bring to the table. We aren’t unicorn hunting really, but we can see it from here. We’re sending messages to women that intrigue us and trying to make our little messages have a bit of personality and express an interest in specific women that catch our eye and not some checked box. And it’s so much fun to chat back and forth and flirt and dream and think. Traveler and I got insanely carried away this past week reacting to sexy potential. That particular person didn’t pan out, but the heat of the possibility and the ideas it gave us worked out quite nicely indeed.
I love how threesomes bring nuances to the fore. I love the dynamic of sharing, not just the actual sex and sharing, which is undeniably hot. I like the sharing too of the process of entertaining someone. I love the sharing of the flirting and the hope and the excitement at “maybe”. I love the sharing of little things this new person exposes in me and in him. I love that we talk more about all sorts of little things. I love that it makes us talk about us and what we want and what we mean. I love that it makes us talk about our interests without the pressure or feeling that we’d want our partner to have to fulfill everything. I love the deeper and deeper understanding. I love the lick of possibility. I don’t expect or need or demand or require ANYTHING from the friends we entertain as prospects or the women we meet online who express an interest, and I love the freedom that gives me to indulge my fantasies. I feel okay being a lech if I presume nothing, expect nothing, demand nothing and am merely open to possibility.
I’m insanely happy and want for nothing, so it’s all icing.
But I have to admit exploring with him is making me positively hum. An idea we had to do with a girl didn’t pan out when she demanded that people not use condoms with her (making her totally off the table for us). But the idea was still a good one and we played a little with a part of the idea with just him and I. He turned himself over to me to be utterly mine and do as I bid. I thought all day about what I’d like to demand and what I’d like to do to him, and it was still better than my imaginings. It was new territory for us, a deeper and less explored layer of things we know already.
The passion and connection are better than ever and going deeper and deeper and deeper still. The things our sex is touching are more base and deeper in us too. It’s fun the little nuances of things and the surface sexiness of the thing, but it’s more than that. It’s trust and love and vulnerability and hope and shared experience. It’s knowing that he’s seeing me differently, appreciating my dirty mind and giving me his creative ideas. It’s that he’s showing me this little edge on his kink. It’s that we are just that little bit freer. It’s the way we lock eyes as we move and it’s just a little bit deeper there.
And on top of all the real and valuable and amazing things with him and I… I’m excited at the prospect of fun together, of watching him give and get pleasure, of sharing this person that so pleases and fulfills me. I’m excited that he’s so passionate about my pleasure too and at the excitement of someone new. I’m excited to share.