Catching Up-Ramblings

School ended a little while ago, but I needed a little time away from my computer.  Oi Vey. Year one of grad school is in the can.

So, what’s up?

I’m just starting to work a little, and it’s hilarious to earn a little under half of what I left to go to school. Eek.  It’s okay. I’m getting good experience and money isn’t everything.

I’m doing a giant house cleaning organization thing, and loving it.

Traveler and I are doing awesome.  We are taking a trip to Canada here soon and have lots of fun stuff lined up and lots of just spending time to look forward to. I’m excited to have a whole week, and much of it in places where we don’t have wifi, so his work can’t pop up and be nuts. Yay! (Poor Traveler has a history of working on all of his vacations, and this might be our first vacation he didn’t work a good portion of, so this is maybe my favorite part.  We’ll have stretches of days of time for us.  Obviously he’ll check in with his other partner too, here and there, and we should have cell signal in most places. But in general it’s time for us, and I’m over the moon about it.  It’s a whole week.  I’ve never had a whole week before.

He’s been amazing with all of this school craziness, so supportive and understanding.  He’s made or fetched us dinner a lot of times, and rubbed tired muscles and listened to rants, and a few times wiped away tears, and succumbed to my pleas for sexual healing.  Lol. But often, when I’m really stressed, we’ve just held each other and petted each other. He remains the most affectionate person I’ve ever dated and it continues to fill me. We still hold and pet each other constantly. He pulls me to him even in his sleep if I pull away, and I know he loves and needs it as much as I do.

The connection is so damn good.  The sex is still fucking amazing, and maybe even better all the time. We just get each other. We have our little routine, the little everyday of “you touch this and then I lick that”, and it’s still deeply madly satisfying, and one or the other of us throws a little something into the mix fairly often too.  And I’m still, after all this time, learning his body and his reactions and the connection between us.

We’ve continued to play and plot sexually with others too, and that’s another layer.  I love seeing and hearing him from other sides and delight in him doing that with me too. We’re still uncovering common ground and exploring with each other, and that thrills me.

But mostly… I just fall and fall and fall in love with him.  I’ve found myself doing that thing lately where I look at him and just fill. I can’t believe I get to love this man. I can’t believe we get to share our lives together. I revel in making dinner and pulling weeds and running errands. I love our family.  I love this inner circle we share. I can’t wait to tell him stuff to see what he’ll say. I love the perspective he brings. I love his heart and his mind. And I’m seeing more and more layers to him too. Isn’t that the best part of a great relationship, how we bring out these great things and uncover things in ourselves and each other?  I love us sharing thoughts and dreams and fantasies and hopes for our future. It’s becoming more real to me.  The dreams are becoming more real.

Someone asked me recently what I would do if I found a primary partner and I had to laugh.  They asked about the way that Traveler and I share and hope to always share time and what would happen to that if I had a primary.  The fact that they asked that of course shows that they don’t understand this thing with Traveler and I. I don’t have a primary and don’t really like the concept, but if I did, Traveler and I are most certainly primaries. If I am lucky enough to find more love, then my new partner would share me with Traveler, just as I share Traveler with Quinky Girl.  Of course I would not break up with Traveler or stop sharing time with him or move out of our home or leave our family, or whatever our arrangement is.  Most of my dreams recently involve graduating school and buying a little home.  I like imagining the stuff we’d do to the place.  I mostly want a home with character and a place to put a hot tub. lol.

I’m loving school, but I am glad to be off for the summer. I love a lot of things about my studies, and it’s still feeling like the incredible privilege it is to get to go to grad school, but the everyday reality of it is a thing I’m happy to be a break from just now.

And a friend of mine, that I’ve had some ridiculously hot threesomes with, has asked me out. Well, actually his WIFE asked me out for him, lol. He’s cute and smart and funny and ridiculously good in bed, so that’s a damn welcome invite. We decided to have some food and talked about some ideas for dates, and I have to admit that’s kinda rad. I don’t know if they’ll be anything there beyond friendship and fun sex, but um…. friendship and fun sex is hella rad.

And I’m open to dating a little, and planned a dinner with a beau from OK Cupid who is cute and smart and kinky in all the right ways.  We’ll see.

I’ve been thoughtful lately, and thinking that it might be time to call my ex husband and to make some amends. We both screwed up, but I think I’d like to clear my side of the street.  I wish we were friends, but I understand that we aren’t and am okay with it. I’m saddened that his new girlfriend is so threatened, but they’ve been together a few years now, and life is long, so you never know.  I don’t feel the attachment or the anger, but I found a little vein of sadness, and cried at a song the other day that he loved.  I think it’s time to make my amends and try to set right what I can, if anything.  It might be nice to have a chance to hear how he is now.  I hope he’s very happy, and I imagine he’s doing pretty well, from the little I hear.  It’s a hard thing to share the time we’ve shared and to have been as connected as we were and to have that be nothing now, but I don’t really blame him for that. It’s just how it is now.  But I can’t help wishing him well.

And as for other things…. I am enjoying learning a bit more about swinging and meeting some members of the local swing community. I really do have to write about that.

I need to write about swinging, and dudes who want to date me from the blog and refusing to hear no, and revisit a few blog posts a reader recently read and commented on from a few years back, and the little house I keep dreaming of.

How are you? Did you miss me? What have you been up to? How’s tricks?

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