Love Song

I’m in a sappy place.  I feel good.  I feel good with working out again. I feel good about spending time thinking about friendships. I like the couple of dates I’ve been on with a guy I had a few steamy sexy times with over the last couple of years, even if I’m not sure what it is.  We met for sex a small number of times in a 2 year or so period, and recently had a real date, with food.  It’s funny how awkward it was at first.  I’m not sure if we are dating actually, and I think that’s pretty fine. Maybe we are just friends who have sex and we had a few meals now. Maybe it’s a dating thing. I don’t know. I’m a little uncertain because he’s not great about making plans to get together, but he does seem to want to see me and contacts me, and we have a good time (I think) once the plans are made and we meet up. Who knows?  Who cares.  It’s fun.

I’m in a sappy place with Traveler. I just feel like we reached another plateau or something, a deeper place, a place I love. He’s been talking a lot, and that’s surprising for him. We’ve always talked pretty easily and of course that’s increased more and more as our relationship has developed, but this is a deeper thing.  I feel this kind of honor and awe to hear these things from him. We are almost 4 years in here, and I just fall fall fall. And he talks and I fill.  I like these sweet dreams and this solid reality.

I’m doing that thing where I just look at him sometimes and think he is impossibly beautiful, breathtakingly kind, and good.  I ache and pine.  I buy things at the grocery store to try to make things he’ll like. I look up things to do and plan lots of them and can’t make us leave the house when it’s time to go. This weekend we’d planned to go out, just for a little while, just for a drink. And I know he likes being at home more, but I had wanted to go out. And then he kissed me, his soft lingering kisses, his hand on the small of my back, and that deep throaty laugh of his, that tilt he does with his head and then that quick passionate kiss… I fell breathless. I wanted to do anything that resulted in more of those kisses.  We lit a zillion candles, and got the music playing every night, talking late and giggling with afterglow and lingering in the morning.

My love my love my love.

I sing sappy love songs and think about him.

“I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this…..One step closer” – Christina Perry, Thousand Years

“There has been no one brighter than you
I can’t deny these things that I do
Feels like the world’s at stake ’cause
I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you” -Seal, I’ve have been waiting

“Your kisses ring, round and round and round my head
Touching the very part of me, it’s making my soul sing
Tearing the very heart of me, I’m crying out for more

Touching the very part of me, it’s making my soul sing
I’m crying out for more, your love is king
This is no blind faith, this is no sad and sorry dream
This is no blind faith, your love, your love is real”- Sade, Your Love is King

“Feels like heaven when I think about you
sparking that love within my soul
and when I touch U, I can’t describe it
sending chills, down my bones

Tell me what you’re thinking of, must thinking of love
put your hands into mine and then we’ll take off to the sky above
soft like an angel, like the feathers laying on a dove
touch me with your soul love, till I lose control” – D’Angelo, Higher

“Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less” – The Pretenders, I’ll stand by you

“And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang

Breathe out
So I can breathe you in
Hold you in
And now
I know you’ve always been
Out of your head
Out of my head I sang” – Foo Fighters, Everlong

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