I asked.

I asked the guy if we’re dating. I’m not sure why it matters, because it’s literally exactly the same whether we are friends who eat and have delicious sex, or if we are dating. But whatever. I’m me. I am queen of just fucking saying it or just fucking asking. I say the awkward things… good, bad and indifferent.

And we are.  He said we’re dating. I’m honestly not sure why, because I intellectually know this means NOTHING… but I like it anyway. I can’t help it. I just do.

Feelings just don’t always make sense. And this one feels fine, so I’m not going to worry about it too much. I’m just gonna shrug at my illogic and enjoy it.


  1. It’s a formalization of sorts, I think. Sure, it may be true that What You Do together is the same regardless of how you label it. But that formalization – that acknowledgment – adds something, yes? Perceived value, validation, security, acceptance… Something. Or somethingS. Things that don’t necessarily need to be defined. Things that make All The Feels somehow easier to handle. 🙂


    • I think you hit it on the head with perceived value or acceptance. It’s like… it’s okay that you like this person. They like you too and you are meeting up sometimes and doing things together sometimes because you would both like to do that.. you’re sort of saying.. “you seem like a good sort and I’d like to get to know you better or spend time with you… maybe. Yes. Let’s say we are dating”. I think you’re right that it feels like an acknowledgement of value or an acceptance.


    • Hehehe… I get that way from time to time. He is a guy I’ve known a while and was just casual with. I met him while having threesomes with him and his wife a few times, and more recently we’d become more friendly and went on some dates. I don’t actually like the beginning dating stuff and I’m kinda happy that for the most part it’s not really like that with this guy. There isn’t any “wooing” or weird false junk of dating. I’ve known him a while, but I’m just now really getting to know him a teeny bit more. My post the other day was really just kinda being frustrated with early dating a wish for a magic wand to get to the “good stuff” of being with someone a while. You can’t really jump to that though and trying to never works. I know it’s complicated.. but I am both a little tired of dating.. and happy that this guy and I are dating.

      I reserve the right to not actually make a ton of sense. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was born in Iceland, lived in Denmark for 8 years before I moved to the states, and what you just wrote is usually how it happens here, on a societal scale.
    We don’t really do “dating”, it just isn’t a thing. We build friendships and/or fwb-situations, just a lot of activities together, partying and sex. All this happens with a vague sense of where your relationship is going. One day you might wake up and be in a relationship, lol.

    Back in Scandinavia things are much simpler ^_^


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