Ouch! Beauty is Pain

lipstickToday was the second full day post genital piercings and um.. ouch.  The swelling and bruising is going down, but damn they are sensitive today.  I have this alien part of my brain that sometimes looks at stuff we humans do and thinks about it in wonder.

Women will sometimes go to great lengths to eat all organic and work out and avoid all of these things like BPA (which isn’t actually proven to be any kind of concern unless you boil things in plastic and then drink them) and then smear lots of chemicals on their lips and spread chemical nightmares with bat guano on their eyelashes.  The same women buy all silicone sex toys for safety and then slather them in chemicals to insert them into their vaginas.  People do crazy things.

People do crazy things like pay others lots of money to shove huge 10g needles through their labias and insert steel rings for beauty and sexual enhancement.  Yikes. Yeah. Today I’m feeling that.  I still love them and I’m still glad I did it and I waited a LONG time to make it happen, but yeah.. today the alien brain has much to contemplate.

The alien brain runs wild until I look at my gleaming rings, or until I step from the shower and feel their gentle weight and the way they make me aware of my warm and sensitive labia.  Then I get wet.  And then they hurt.  And I clean them and they ache a little in a not-so-good way (unless you come kiss me).

10g needleI’m glad I did it, but yeah.. today is a day when I just can’t stop thinking about the old phrase that always made me laugh- “beauty is pain”.  I scoffed at that.  I, who won’t wear uncomfortable clothing to be fashionable, who won’t spend an hour each morning doing my hair and make-up as so many women do, who refuses to dress up most of the time because it’s so damn uncomfortable, and who wears my comfy keen shoes almost every day almost all the time.  I scoff at a sexy sexy scratchy pair of panties and a stiff push up bra and daily hair rituals and 15 kinds of make-up.. and then I shove steel skewers through my genitals.  Yeah.  It’s healthy to scoff at yourself sometimes.

They’re beautiful and I love them, but today beauty is pain.

chemicals

Pierced!

So much has been going on.  I’ve been having outrageous fun and enjoying a few happy accidents.  And I finally pierced my pussy.

holiday piercingTraveler and Quinky Girl were not able to go to Traveler’s Family’s annual celebration.  That is very sad for them, as they love his family and he has NEVER missed a Christmas with them.  After a bit of commiseration though, we made something wonderful out of something sad.  And the something wonderful is the biggest most wonderful gift I got this season.  I had time with my loves!  Traveler and I enjoyed a holiday burlesque that was the most professional and beautiful burlesque either of us have seen.  Tremendous food and tremendous wine, and dancing and boobs and comedy and song. Wonderful!  It was insanely expensive, and cost way more than I’d planned.  But I’ll recover financially and he’s worth it.

And then Traveler and I and Quinky and Jonah and Jonah’s other partner and gussied up in medieval garb and hit a yule feast in Camden for Christmas Eve.  (funny, right?)  And on Christmas I spent the morning (after waking up excessively late) over a nice brunch opening presents before going to my dear old friend’s family Christmas.  Her family is terribly sweet, and welcomes me for the holidays.  I don’t have any family and am usually alone on the holidays, so this is INCREDIBLY appreciated and generous of them.  I didn’t stay super long because I’d hoped to help make the holidays nice with Traveler and Quinky Girl, who were missing their family, but even a little conversation and some hugs and the time with my friend lamenting her (nearly perfect) feast felt like home.  And then I had the juiciest, most flavorful, most tender and delicious tenderloin I’d ever tasted.

I loved that we ended up talking about real things around the table, eating wonderful food and talking about Quinky making a big decision.  It’s something when the people you love honor you by getting real about deep shit.

There has just been such good time.  I have to admit the holidays generally make me sad.  It’s hard to try to plan enough and to bolster myself during the holidays.  I’m lucky enough to have found my family, and it’s hard to be apart from them over the holidays.  But this year was wonderful.  Baking cookies with my loves and my kittens, running around ragged getting everything done, washing so many dishes with my days of cookie baking I have perma dish-pan-hands.  And I loved it.

And then today…

I finally realized a dream I’ve been planning for forever.  I got my beautiful labia rings.  There’s never a super great time to stab your pussy, and to wait for it to heal for almost a month for anything about about 3 months for tougher things.  Traveler helped me out and sent me off with a “till we meet again” passion, and then he came with me. Continue reading

Learning Stuff

If you pay attention, you’re always learning stuff about yourself and those you love.

I’ve learned some stuff lately.

  • Sometimes people seem at first like they have a lot of common interests, but when you talk to them more.. these are really superficial matches and sometimes not even that, so a bit of time gabbing can be useful.
  • I don’t like “princess” girls, stupid girls, girls who are wildly unsafe sexually, girls who have really strong feelings about piercings needing to be delicate to be beautiful, or girls that have ridiculously foofy dogs they dress in dresses and pose on pink couches.  clit.. shriveling.
  • Traveler has WAY looser standards for some sorts of dating partners than I do.
  • My job site does in fact somehow manage (even with the longest and most ridiculous hiring process ever) to hire crazy and dumb people and I don’t wanna sleep with them.
  • green bra 2I like requests to take naughty picture sets with my lovers and my pussy is rather nice from that angle.  Mmmm.
  • Piercings are very photogenic.
  • I can get the piercings I’ve wanted for months and months and months and use nylon space holders when I have surgery.  Piercings back on the table!
  • My pussy needs labia rings.
  • Traveler and I both want and like a certain sex act we didn’t know the other liked.  Yay for threesome talks where the sexual interest isn’t into it but we realized we both are!  So much fun to explore!
  • Chemistry and intensity can grow and grow and grow.
  • incontinence pads are actually really soft and absorbent and sexy and it’s sooooo nice to sleep on a clean dry bed after beautifully gushing to hot hot sex.
  • I like threesomes and would like more of them.
  • Being stood up by a woman you were uncertain of while you are having a very fun conversation with your boyfriend is pretty cool actually.
  • You should not make big judgements at 4 am after reading  a surprise email that wasn’t super fun.  Spinning about it for a while later in the morning, also before eating and getting centered, is also ill-advised.
  • I value transparency and being informed when it comes to my partners.  Things that feel like they were sneakily done feel like secrets and wig me out.  I feel safest when I feel informed.
  • I LOVE collaborating in love in even more ways and it’s wonderful to be able to plan around your loves getting time together when you can.
  • I want her and she’s not attainable, and that is okay.
  • Rob Roy on 2nd Avenue has delicious old-fashioneds.
  • Sometimes sexy girls from OKC DO like me back.
  • Talking so wonderfully with sexy girls for hours is great foreplay.
  • Making out and getting a woman mostly naked in my new car is a lot easier than in my mini.
  • I think it’s hot when she forgets an article of clothing in my car.
  • Talking absolutely filthily to sexy girls while making out makes them deliciously wet… deliciously wet.
  • Sometimes sexy girls think your boyfriend is hot and would entertain some lovely naughty fun with them.  Yay for threesomes back on the table.
  • Warm and wonderful dates that flow from sleepily snuggling to sleepy sex to again sleepily snuggling are HOT.
  • I can’t wait to make pies with my loves and then EAT PIES with my loves!

Want

This one has a lot of talk about piercings and a fantasy with one of my loves, so skip this one if you like.  😉

leather cuffs, can be bought from amazon.

leather cuffs, can be bought from amazon.

(Amazon Link to Leather Blindfold) <- click here.

(Amazon Link to Leather Cuffs) <- click here.

So Traveler and I fished the same girl.  It was bound to happen, but we both started talking to her on the same day (yesterday) and about many of the same things, sharing very similar interests.  And holy fuck. I’m getting my piercings as soon as I get back from my weekend away.  I don’t care and I can’t wait.

I told this girl, Threes we’ll call her, about the piercings I wanted and we got all worked up talking about it because she’d found me via my answers about piercing questions.  She shares my interest.  And when I told her how I’d been planning for MONTHs to get them this month and that I was totally crestfallen to put them off because of surgery in a few months she said “why don’t you just do it and get nylon piercings to hold the holes while you do surgery?  Eureka.

I’m getting them ASAP.  I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT!  All those months of planning and dreaming and thinking about them and all the porn and pictures and imaginings.  Growl.  Yes!

And oh god I have a fantasy.

It’s graphic.  You were warned.  Do not read this is fantasies about me and my loves would be at all upsetting.  Continue reading

The Aspiration Gap

***Okay.  This one is long, really really long.  I’m sorry.  I had a bit of a crisis and rethought everything.  Feel free to skim or skip.

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I’m thinking about the aspiration gap. We take our hopes and wishes and expectations and compare them to reality.  The difference between what we want and hope for and what actually exists determines in great part how happy we are, and this is the aspiration gap.  There is a good article here describing this idea in more detail.  The really short version of this is that researchers measured happiness and expectation and found them to have an inverse effect, meaning that when people have reasonable or low expectations they were happier.  It seems that the happiness with what actually happens is less important than how it measures up to what we thought or hoped would happen.  If we expected $100,000 a year and got $90,000 we were less happy than when we expected $50,000 and got $60,000.

This is so damn true.

How many times were you surprised by great little things and tickled by the smallest things and saddened by the rewards that came and were actually great but not really what you’d thought would happen?  I’m just adjusting my expectations and taking stock.  I’m finding that I’m loved and supported, exactly as I want and need, and more, but maybe not how I pictured.  I had some of this wrong.  And you know, fuck judging myself for having feelings about that sometimes.  I am allowed to feel this stuff.  It’s okay to want and need.  I can fuck up.  And I can admit when I’m wrong and apologize.

So this weekend Traveler was talking about all of his plans and such and I was enjoying talking to him about all this, as I do.  And I noticed something I never noticed before.  I wasn’t in his plans.  I don’t think much about that most of the time.  We really aren’t to the “building stuff around each other” place.  But he was talking specifically about his living arrangements and his home.  And he has this like 10 year plan.  And I’m not in any of that.  So I asked.  “How does this look for you.. your future living plans and your.. maybe.. like.. hopes or whatever?  Is there.. other stuff in there?”.  Hemming and hawing ensued.  I was trying to tread lightly.   Eventually I cleared what I was asking and he said he just really hadn’t thought about it.

Shit.

What?what

Continue reading

Being Flexible

In any relationship a little flexibility is good.  And no.. I don’t mean putting your legs behind you head.  😀 I’m actually not super flexible that way.  But I have my talents.  😉 ImageFlexibility and adaptability help us navigate change and change is inevitable.  Relationships grow and morph and change over time.  People grow and morph and change.  I was looking for a topic this morning and Traveler came up with it.  We’re sitting on my living room floor and he’s reading forums and I’m writing because World of Warcraft is down.  There went our lazy Saturday morning plans.  The thing really is this; I don’t care.  I would like to play WoW, and I’m mildly disappointed, but honestly I don’t care what we do.  I just like spending time.  We had a delicious breakfast (If I do say so myself) and I like sitting here digesting and relaxing together.

 

Flexibility and adaptability come up in a variety of ways in relationships.  Currently, Cleveland and I are navigating that place you get to when the romantic bits give way to the real bits.  We’re still plenty romantic, but we’re starting to also be REAL.  You know that place you get to after about 6-9 months?  Yeah.  We’re there.  He has some very definite ideas of how things should be done sometimes.  He’s read and watched a lot of food science things and as I was making him a beef stir-fry he was telling me all the ways that it SHOULD be done.  We, my dears, are going to have a problem.  I don’t like to be criticized.  I like helpful tips and advice, especially if they are not presented as the “right way” or “only way”.  I love learning.  I do not enjoy someone saying “Oh no no no.. it’s supposed to be done like this”.  I’ve worked long and hard to be better at receiving feedback, but I’m not the best.  Cleveland also has a shortcoming.  He has a lot of opinions and thoughts about how things should be done and he’s becoming more comfortable sharing them.  Ruh-oh.  I pretty much told him I wasn’t going to cook for him if he keeps it up.  I think I need to watch him cook.  He also informed me that I wasn’t shifting soon enough.  Ruh-oh.. run-oh.  Can you see that we’re both going to learn a lot, or this is going to be a mess?  Relationships challenge and stretch us sometimes and I can see that this might be part of the lesson this relationship has to teach us.

Because the thing is.. it’s great to learn from the wisdom of others, and it’s good to try things in new ways, because this is how innovations and inventions happen.  I can’t be so rigid I think my way is THE right way.  I have to be open to the ways of others.

ImageAlso with flexibility in relationships, scheduling is a lot easier.  Things have grown with Traveler.  We’ve enjoyed some extra time here lately and we talked about it last night.  One day a week simply doesn’t cut it anymore.  We need more.  And more has been happening and can keep happening if we’re a little flexible.  It helps us to plan so that he can see me and Quinky Girl and so I can see Cleveland and so Quinky Girl can be available to Jonah (her boyfriend).  If we’re too set, we can’t take advantage of that evening here and there and that little dinner or little time in WoW.  And as it turns out, we both crave that.  Yay!

 

Being a little malleable here gives me a lot more of what I crave.. time with my loves.  I get to see more of Traveler and Cleveland and Quinky Girl.  On Traveler’s and my dates this week we got to be a little creative and see Quinky Girl too for a bit.  Wednesday she cooked for everyone (yum) and then Traveler and I had our date and she went out with Jonah.  Friday he and I worked in the yard, removing the bush that smells like cum from next to their porch.  And yes, it really does smell like cum.  Heh.  We enjoyed the sun and some time together and wooded with triumph when we got that damn bush/tree out.  Quinky Girl came home and we all just talked and chilled on the porch, enjoying the lack of cum smell and a nice cold beer as we surveyed the light on the water and the beautiful patch of empty dirt.  We had no specific plans and it was nice to take advantage of some time to have a fun conversation about politics, sex, life, work and all kinds of junk.

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Later last night, Traveler and I enjoyed the London Broil I’d marinated and some Greek avgolemeno potatoes.  Uh.. yum.  It was a quiet evening after a busy week, lots of cuddling and petting and a nice long talk.  He kinda opened up and I’m such a girl that it’s maybe my favorite thing he’s done in a while.  We just did whatever, and it was perfect.  Sex that is better and better and so much affection I purr, and it’s just a quiet little friday night.  Perfect. Thank Traveler for the topic.  Now.. what to do since WoW is down?  Hmmmm….. Image

Piercing It

A while back, shortly after Great Date and I broke up and Hubby and I decided to divorce, I decided I would get piercings.  I’d long wanted nipple piercings, but Hubby didn’t really care for them, so I’d held off.  In the aftermath of our marriage, thinking about all kinds of things great and small that I might want to do with myself, piercings and tattoos came up.  I already have a number of tattoos and would like more.  I decided to pierce my nipples and get a vertical hood piercing.  Nipples take forever to heal, but it is an investment of time I suppose.  They are a lot more sensitive and I like my breasts a lot more now.  I’ve always like stimulation to my nipples, and it’s just a lot more interesting now.  I never really liked my breasts, the way they looked, and I think they are cuter now.  They are about 9 months old and I think nearly healed.  The painful healing part was fast, but you have to be careful with them, not to pull on them too much for a good long time to allow them to fully heal properly.

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Beautiful woman with facial piercings found at: http://crunchmodo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/body-piercings.jpg

I went back a short while later and got that vertical hood piercing, and that my friends, that was a damn good idea.  It might be my favorite body modification ever.  I had an orgasm in the grocery store walking down an aisle while it healed.  The crazy amazing sensitivity went away for me in about 2 weeks or so, which was actually a good thing.  The hardest part for me on the healing was not messing with it.  Every time I got excited I could feel my clit stimulated by the bar as it swelled in my hood and I got wet.  That’s not super convenient.  It become a tortuously sexy feedback loop.  Random thought- swelling- clit stimulated by the bar- more excited- wet- very aware of my own excitement and utterly unable to do anything about it… wah. Continue reading