Letting Go of Great Date

I went to Great Date’s house tonight to break up with him face to face. I love him.. I love him to my very core, but I had to let him go. I will not trash him here or anywhere else, and I do not hate him or wish him any ill. I love him. But I will tell as accurate a truth as I can without sharing anything I think he’d be uncomfortable with. He is now okay with his drinking being known publicly, so I will talk a little about that however. To people that actually know him I will simply say it didn’t work out, even though we love each other. I need it to be clear- Great Date is not a hopeless drunk or an asshole. He’s an intelligent, handsome, caring, loving, sensual man with a drinking problem. I have one too. I’ve been sober over 20 years, and I sobered up as a teenager.

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Turns out he didn’t break up with me in a text.

Great Date has been one of the best relationships of my life.  He’s an amazing man and I’m lucky to have spent time with him and I love him.  Even casual readers will know how devastating this is.  If you’re shocked, don’t feel bad.  I’m shocked too.  I have never been more honest or more vulnerable or more real.  I have never enjoyed that level of acceptance and love.  This is by far one of the most painful things of my life.

I can’t and don’t want to delve too far into what happened, but I need to say something I can’t really say in life, with people who know both of us.  I don’t want to hurt his reputation or him mine.  I want to think we can be mature and kind.  I love him.  I can’t turn it off like a light.  I just love him so fucking much and I don’t want to hurt him.  It kills me to think of that, but I’m not stupid.  I know this hurts him. Continue reading