I Don't Know

There are so many things that I don’t know.  I know I had an insanely hot loving close intimate fun weekend.  There were trips to the sex shop for more gear, delicious breakfast casseroles and cookouts, leather cuffs, so much snuggling, petting, great talks about everything, beautiful nights, insanely hot times with just Traveler and I, and then Traveler and I and our new friend Yarn Hooker, and with a new guy I haven’t named yet.  There was wine tasting and homemade pie, games with friends, old friends playing putt putt and laughing over pizza, and a lazy morning just like we like.  There was something in the air this weekend!  I will be enjoying memories of this weekend for some time to come.

tarot cardsAnd my friend sent me messages yesterday, expressing joy at his partner finding a great new prospect and a tiny bit of trepidation.  What if she likes him better?  What if she only needs the new man?  What if he makes her forget my friend?  He went online to read blogs and found some, all ending with divorce.  Not very encouraging.

I told him honestly that sometimes this life is bitter hard. Relationships USUALLY end before death.  This is true in monogamy and in polyamory and in every other kind of ‘amory too.  How many people do you know that are blissfully coupled with the only person they’ve ever loved and they’ve been together and close and happy for life?  Chances are if you are lucky you can name maybe 5 couples.  That’s 5 couples out of the hundreds or thousands of couples you have known.  It’s not like monogamous relationships are paragons of stability either.  But with the fluid nature of open relationship networks, things do have more opportunity for change, and that really points out the unstable nature of romantic relationships. Continue reading

Why I Won't Fuck Your Boyfriend

I had a really nice day.  I had a really nice weekend overall in fact.  Traveler and I had a fun and beautiful date going to Hump! Tour, and I had a nice Saturday, garage-saling in my hood, and met a woman from OKC.  I’ll get to that in a minute.  I had a good Sunday.  I spent a little time in WoW, cleaned my house and FINALLY got my boxes from moving in all loaded up.  Cleveland came over and measured my brake rotors.  It’s a long story, but he likely just saved me a BUNCH of money. I made him breakfast and we marveled at the loveliness of a Sunday morning together.  Sunday mornings are very rare for us.  It was nice to just talk and cook and joke in the daylight, with the breeze blowing through my clean apartment.  I didn’t shower before he came over, because I was cleaning, and still we got carried away.  I tried to not have sex with him, and could not resist.  Even full from breakfast, even a little mussy from cleaning, there was no stopping.  God the chemistry of that man.. woof!~

ImageWe kissed and laughed and marveled at the storm once it had passed.  Great googly damn.  He headed home after a while and I sat back to grin and finish my laundry.

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Women are Hard to Get

phone numberWhy are women so hard?  Okay.. admittedly I am not the best person to ask about how to get women.  I don’t really try.  A woman has to pretty much say “I’d like to have sex with you” for me to get it.  I just assume that women are not into me before I ask, so I never ask.  Part of this is that I am dense as a fucking post when it comes to hints.  I no speaky hints.  If you are coy and I can’t obviously tell you like me I walk away thinking “I don’t wanna bother her”.  I don’t hint or allude much.  I tend to err on the side of “so this is awkward.. but I am going to say this thing I probably shouldn’t because I’d generally rather suffer consequences of saying things and knowing whatever than of not saying things”.  This of course is except when it comes to women.  Continue reading

Same Love- Loving Girls

I went to see Macklemore last night and had this kind of spiritual gratitude experience.  I never thought it would happen in my lifetime, but I stood in an arena bursting at the seams with people singing along to a song about about gay rights and acceptance.


Mary Lambert- Singer featured in “Same Love”

This song made the cry the first time I heard it.  Actually I cried the first 6 or 7 times I heard it.  I remember being a 16 year old girl, in my Cleveland, Ohio high school and wondering what the hell it meant that I loved my best friend Kristen.  We’d had a threesome with a guy we both knew, and to her it was a fun sexual experiment, and to me it was finally acknowledging what I’d known since I first kissed Melissa at age 12.  Melissa and I told ourselves we were “practicing for when we had boyfriends”.  I’m not totally sure what we thought our boyfriends would be like that we had to practice eating pussy.  😉Image

I liked girls.  I liked them in a way that other girls didn’t like girls.

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They Might Come Out

Recently Cleveland told me that he’s increasingly thinking about coming out.  I have to admit I’m excited for him.  Traveler also said he’d been considering being out, and might after certain conditions are met.  This surprised me.

ImageIt’s nice to be out, and I have to admit I agree with Dan Savage’s call to come out.  Lots of bisexuals are still closeted and this does contribute to the stigma about bisexuality and the lack of percieved support.  Even more non-monogamous people are not out.  I can’t remember the figures, but I think it’s something like only 20% of bisexuals are out and I have no idea what percent of non-mono folks are out.  Much like homosexuals, most people know a bisexual or non-monogamous person or a few, and if more of them were out there would be more people who knew they knew a bisexual or a non-mono person and it’d be that much less weird.  I’ve been out about being a bisexual since I was a teenager and came out as non-monogamous in stages over the last year.

I can’t agree more that it’s important to be out if you can.  As more and more gay people came out there were more and more places and people with whom being gay was okay.  I think a lot of people talk about coming out “if it’s ever a good situation to do so”, and I think it doesn’t really work that way.  I can’t wait for the climate to change so it’s easy to come out before I come out.  We need to come out to change the climate.  Those first lesbians and gay people didn’t come out to rosy acceptance everywhere.  Someone had to start and it might as well be me… or you.  Continue reading