Home Again

Traveler and I just got home from a week away, and what a week!  I think I fell even more in love with him.

We spent a week together in Vancouver Island in British Columbia.  It was wonderful. We hiked and walked and ate great meals and did sea kayaking.  We had morning and afternoon and evening kisses and snuggles and hot passionate sex. We had connected sex and sweet sex and close gasping, can’t stop kissing, locked eyes, grasping, aching, delicious sex.  Almost four years in and I fall fall fall.  God yes.  We’ve never spent a week together before, just us, and it was glorious.

hello bc vancouver islandWe talked and talked and joked and laughed and kissed and snuggled and just had the best time.  It was easy and fun.

And honestly it was hard to come home.  We daydreamed about the cafe we’d open in Hawaii or the bed and breakfast we’d run like the one we stayed in.  We dreamed about the vacation home we’d build together and the little country house we’d live in.  It’s idle dreams that we both know won’t happen.  We love Quinky, and our jobs and our friends, and our lives.  But there was something special about this dreaming o me.  It’s special because it isn’t real.  It won’t hurt anyone or change our lives. It’s just the admission that in a perfect world made of magic we’d get to be together like this all the time.  It’s only the admission that this love is a great love too.

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A Tizzy

My beautiful metamour, please skip this one.  Thank you!

sex 1

I am in a tizzy.  Maybe it’s the sweltering heat.  Maybe it’s all the naughty adventure talk.  Maybe it’s imagining what I’d like to order Yarn Hooker to do.  Maybe it’s reliving recent fun adventures or not having had a taste of the man I just started dating recently.  Maybe it is what is happening between Traveler and I.  Maybe it is our plans together or the plans I’m pursuing alone.  I don’t know.  It’s delicious.

I feel like I am in heat.  I cross my legs at work to feel them press against my pussy.  When I am walking and my rings rub I find the lick delicious.  I am on fire.  We’ve been exhausted and had little time together for weeks until this last weekend and still it is hotter.  This rabbit hole!

I’m planning an adventure…two actually.  One adventure Traveler and I are undertaking together.  One I am undertaking myself.  I have a long held fantasy and I am going for it.  I have to admit I worried about it, worried about hurting this thing with Traveler and I.  It keeps going deeper.  It keeps getting hotter and I have more here than any woman has a right to… right here.  Last night while he worked his magic I felt high with desire.  He played me like a viola.  I was panting.  I could not get my panties off fast enough to let his fingers inside. I could not stop the stream of sex and desire pouring out of my mouth.  I whispered.  I sang.  I breathed “I want you”.

We had spent the night sharing kinky desires and making plans.  We shared fantasies about Yarn Hooker and talk about the fantasy I’m pursuing.  I’d been scared to talk about it too much… scared to trust him saying that he wanted me to pursue it.  I’m so used to men saying they love my sluttiness and turning cold.

I remember my ex husband fucking me from behind in the hotel in Maui, knowing everyone standing right outside the door was listening and could hear, could see our outline, fucking me so hard we were both screaming with passion and then asking if he could cum in my mouth, telling me he wanted to fuck my face and loving it, he cried out while I swallowed every drop, he eagerly talked for days about how amazing it was to finally date a woman who he could be his every passion with.  And I remember the way his voice was cold shortly after our wedding when one night I asked him to cum on my face.  How quickly it all turns.

But it isn’t here.  If anything Traveler is wanting me MORE.  He doesn’t share this kink.  He doesn’t want to go there with me, but he wants me to go there and loves me for being authentically myself.  I think he might love me more for the sincerity here.  More and more and more I feel his want and his need and I’m comforted.  He sees ME.  He knows ME.  And he LOVES ME.

He doesn’t want me because I’m fulfilling a kinky desire for the slutty girl.  (Although I sure do like a slut lover).  He doesn’t want me just today because I am the porn image and he’ll reject me when he loves me, for being too much.  He wants me because he wants me, I think very much like I want him.  He wants to hold me and kiss me and love me and fuck me and be with me.  I can’t tell you what that does to me!

Last night I told him on my way home that I needed him naked.  He laughed and said I’d just had him.  We had fucked so quietly, after a long hot day, exhausted, but needing, trying to avoid the houseguest hearing and I’d come so hard trying not to make a sound that we could hear the splashing.  I’d controlled my breath and my ragged sounds and it had only made it more intense.  When he’d held his breath and bucked beneath me while he came thrashing with the pressure he’d held in, I felt him cum and I’d come again once more, soaking us both and making an audible rhythmic splash.   But I needed him again.

I needed him because I always need him.  I can’t imagine not needing him.  But I needed him too because I have been on a tizzy of desire.  I am overflowing.

We fucked hard last night after hours of teasing talk, urgent and with abandon, saying slutty slutty things, and I’d lost it when he said what he wanted me to do, and even then – right after we finished I could not stop coming and I’d played with my pussy when we’d stopped fucking, coming again all over him. It was amazing to look into each other’s faces then, unable to break a spell.

And wouldn’t you know it.  I’m still in a tizzy.

Again.

Again.

What it is to be loved and wanted and heard.. and still.. loved and wanted.

Want

This one has a lot of talk about piercings and a fantasy with one of my loves, so skip this one if you like.  😉

leather cuffs, can be bought from amazon.

leather cuffs, can be bought from amazon.

(Amazon Link to Leather Blindfold) <- click here.

(Amazon Link to Leather Cuffs) <- click here.

So Traveler and I fished the same girl.  It was bound to happen, but we both started talking to her on the same day (yesterday) and about many of the same things, sharing very similar interests.  And holy fuck. I’m getting my piercings as soon as I get back from my weekend away.  I don’t care and I can’t wait.

I told this girl, Threes we’ll call her, about the piercings I wanted and we got all worked up talking about it because she’d found me via my answers about piercing questions.  She shares my interest.  And when I told her how I’d been planning for MONTHs to get them this month and that I was totally crestfallen to put them off because of surgery in a few months she said “why don’t you just do it and get nylon piercings to hold the holes while you do surgery?  Eureka.

I’m getting them ASAP.  I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT!  All those months of planning and dreaming and thinking about them and all the porn and pictures and imaginings.  Growl.  Yes!

And oh god I have a fantasy.

It’s graphic.  You were warned.  Do not read this is fantasies about me and my loves would be at all upsetting.  Continue reading

Crazy Dream

Warning- This one is sexually graphic and about Traveler and Cleveland.

Monday night I had a steamy dream that I had a threesome with Traveler and Cleveland.  It was pretty damn graphic and pretty damn enticing.  I was embarrassed to wake up all wet and writhing.  The weird part about this is that I have never consciously fantasized about being with two men, and now that I dreamed it, I can’t stop thinking about it and wondering why I haven’t fantasized about it before.

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Tatuaje- Ballet Nacional de Ecuador

In the dream we were all just so… beyond physical friction.  It was a deeper more emotional thing… my men doing this for me, loving how excited they were making me, taking pleasure in me and me in them, my loving how they were making me feel and how I made them feel, and me lost in them, utterly and completely owned by them.  God.  I’m getting excited just thinking about it.  I told Cleveland about the dream and got so turned on just telling him that I had the dream, not even sharing details, that I came rubbing against his leg and begged him to fuck me.  I watched his face, lost in his breath and my own desire, and had this kind of rolling orgasm that was like waves crashing again and again and again.  I absolutely soaked my bed.  I’m not even sure you can say I squirted.  I think you’d have to say I gushed.  I masturbated this morning while thinking of last night, and while thinking of that dream.  Good Lord.  What has gotten into me!?!?

I have talked to both of my loves about sexual exploration.  They are both open-minded but I think this one might be a tough sell.  Cleveland at least liked the fantasy and my reaction to it, and I think may even be willing to consider it.  Traveler is such a wild card.  Some things he seems interested in trying or will try.  Some things he seems willing to humor, liking how much I’m into them.  Some things just aren’t his bag, but he accepts those and doesn’t seem judgmental about them.  So I think it’s safe to at least tell him my fantasy.  It’s unclear to me how he’d react to me having this dream, much less expressing a real interest in it.  I think he would not be interested but he surprises me all the time.

In the dream and my fantasy it’s not a thing that happens between Cleveland and Traveler, beyond how comfortable they are together.  I have fantasies about being with two bi men, much like my favorite FFM threesomes, but I’ve never really fantasized about being the pivot in a MMF threesome.  That’s odd even to me.  I don’t know why I haven’t.  Maybe it’s my occasional self slut-shame.

The thing about this that is just sending me over the moon is the idea of this passion with two men THAT I LOVE.  I can’t imagine the joy of opening the way I do with them and the sensations of them together, the dizzying pleasure of Cleveland’s breath on my pussy with Traveler’s cock in my mouth.  I almost shake at the fantasy of being filled with these men in every way I can be filled by them.  I want to touch and suck and feel and smell and lick and taste and connect with every part of them.  I want everything that I am at that moment to be about them, with them, in them, there at their pleasure and they at mine.

Traveler’s skin and Cleveland’s mouth

their kisses

their taste

his smoothness and his soft fuzziness

my hands in his hair and him sliding his body against my ass

knowing by the feel that those are his hands

watching his face

aching and fulfilled

his smell.. his body reacting

lost with him

flooding

and him

feeling his motions and his caress

giving all of it to him

my mouth, my hands, my lips, my tongue, my eyes, my mind, my pussy, my ass, my thighs, my skin

wanting more of him

opening for him… oh… God.