So it Begins Poly Christmas

I just dropped Traveler and Quinky Girl off at the airport for their yearly trek to Traveler’s family.  It was nice to be able to see them off and kiss their faces and wish them a great trip.  I cried a LOT less this morning than previous Christmas Eve’s.  It’s only taken me a couple of years, but I think I might have a good plan for this holiday.

I need to be proactive.

A Christmas Story Bully Continue reading


So much has been going on.  I’ve been having outrageous fun and enjoying a few happy accidents.  And I finally pierced my pussy.

holiday piercingTraveler and Quinky Girl were not able to go to Traveler’s Family’s annual celebration.  That is very sad for them, as they love his family and he has NEVER missed a Christmas with them.  After a bit of commiseration though, we made something wonderful out of something sad.  And the something wonderful is the biggest most wonderful gift I got this season.  I had time with my loves!  Traveler and I enjoyed a holiday burlesque that was the most professional and beautiful burlesque either of us have seen.  Tremendous food and tremendous wine, and dancing and boobs and comedy and song. Wonderful!  It was insanely expensive, and cost way more than I’d planned.  But I’ll recover financially and he’s worth it.

And then Traveler and I and Quinky and Jonah and Jonah’s other partner and gussied up in medieval garb and hit a yule feast in Camden for Christmas Eve.  (funny, right?)  And on Christmas I spent the morning (after waking up excessively late) over a nice brunch opening presents before going to my dear old friend’s family Christmas.  Her family is terribly sweet, and welcomes me for the holidays.  I don’t have any family and am usually alone on the holidays, so this is INCREDIBLY appreciated and generous of them.  I didn’t stay super long because I’d hoped to help make the holidays nice with Traveler and Quinky Girl, who were missing their family, but even a little conversation and some hugs and the time with my friend lamenting her (nearly perfect) feast felt like home.  And then I had the juiciest, most flavorful, most tender and delicious tenderloin I’d ever tasted.

I loved that we ended up talking about real things around the table, eating wonderful food and talking about Quinky making a big decision.  It’s something when the people you love honor you by getting real about deep shit.

There has just been such good time.  I have to admit the holidays generally make me sad.  It’s hard to try to plan enough and to bolster myself during the holidays.  I’m lucky enough to have found my family, and it’s hard to be apart from them over the holidays.  But this year was wonderful.  Baking cookies with my loves and my kittens, running around ragged getting everything done, washing so many dishes with my days of cookie baking I have perma dish-pan-hands.  And I loved it.

And then today…

I finally realized a dream I’ve been planning for forever.  I got my beautiful labia rings.  There’s never a super great time to stab your pussy, and to wait for it to heal for almost a month for anything about about 3 months for tougher things.  Traveler helped me out and sent me off with a “till we meet again” passion, and then he came with me. Continue reading

No F'ing December

sad pussyI was laying in bed last night, alone and writhing a little, kicking myself for not bringing anything to help while I traveled.  I have this weird handicap that makes it so I generally can’t masturbate with just my hand, like a normal human.  I easily orgasm with a partner’s hand or pretty much every other regular sexual thing, but weirdly not my own hand.  I could for a while after I got my vertical clitoral hood piercing, but that’s faded.  Drats.

I had talked a bit with Cleveland, nothing very sexy.. just normal stuff, and as I lay there trying to fall asleep I was craving.  I have been a little surprised by my recent ardor until I realized.. I’ve had sex like 3 times in December.  Fucking December!  Actually… no fucking December.  😦  With all of my traveling and Traveler’s traveling and Cleveland’s traveling and the fact that … yep.. I looked up my dates over the past month and I’ve had sex 3 times in December.  The droughts have largely occurred while I’m out of town and it’s not like I take my vibrator everywhere I go, though I am reconsidering this oversight!

Worse yet, I’m not sure my drought will end soon.  I have the holidays when I get back and then a date on a Thursday with Traveler.  We’re supposed to clean and prepare for his party and then have the party itself and then I work the next day, so the likelihood of much alone time, much less much sexy time is small.  I have no dates scheduled yet with Cleveland (wah!), and my next scheduled date with boss is in late January.  twin beds

I just wanted to pout and whine a little.  Le Sigh.


Change is Good


Little things you do can make a big difference to those who love you.  I think there’s a lot of talk about how to show people you love them and there’s lots of stories of grand gestures.  I’m not against them, honestly, but it’s the little stuff that I crave and the little stuff that sustains me.  I love epic dates with deep talks and insanely large amounts of kissing and touch and amaze-balls sex and all of that.  BELIEVE ME.. I don’t turn my nose up at that kinda thing.  But a million little things adding up over time is somehow more soothing to me.  Maybe it’s that I’ve had so many grand gestures that add up to nothing or because I’ve lost really important things when the every day was forgotten, or maybe it’s just my perspective.. whatever.  But big big gestures just aren’t enough. Continue reading

All The Little Things That Make Me Happy

After he leaves, I don’t change the sheets.  I like sleeping in a place that smells like him. 

I like running my Sunday errands thinking about dinner and football tonight with Traveler and his wife, getting a chance to chill with them at the end of a good weekend and getting to watch some football.


I am eager and nervous for tonight.  I have a date with Boss at the club, at a play party I’ve been meaning to hit.  I’m nervous because I don’t know what to expect.  I’ve never been to this party and I’ve never been to a party with a date.  I’ve never played at the club.  I’ve wanted to.  Are we going to play?  What should I expect?  It makes me happy to think eagerly of possibilities and to not have specific expectations.  It makes me happy to think of chemistry and exploring and fun.  I’m turned on and scared and I kind of like the combination.  I know I don’t really have anything to fear.  I have some control here.  I have some say.  But I like and fear the unknown. 

I feel so encouraged by my loves.  Both of them were supportive about tonight.  When I told Cleveland and Traveler that I was meeting Boss and that we’d be meeting at the club and that it might be a play date (read kinky sex), and that I kind of hoped it was, they were both encouraging.  They kissed me or hugged me and told me to have fun and to be safe.  I waited for a shoe to drop that didn’t.  I would happily have had more conversation or been supportive if there’d been a need for reassurance or support, but there didn’t seem to be even a healthy need for that yet.  I probed a little, trying to encourage them to talk if they wanted to.  I could feel a tiny something in them that they both swore wasn’t there.  I think they naturally had a tiny pinch that they handled internally.  I think they didn’t want to make a thing out of something that they easily managed and I think they were actually okay.  They are very clear that I love them.  I think they know how important they are to me.  That made me feel good.  I like thinking that the groundwork is there for us in all of our talks and kisses and attention and love, that they had little fear.  It would have been and will be okay if they have little things here and there and we talk about it.  But it was nice that nobody melted down.

I am buoyed by Friday’s wonderful date with Cleveland.  It was a stressful week and it took me a little bit to de-stress.  It was wonderful to have time.  We helped Peaches pick up some things at the naughty shop and played Cards Against Humanity with our friends.  It was hilarious and we had the best time.  We had talks and snuggles and pets and amazing sex.  We slept and woke together.  We made plans for our next date and marveled as we always do by getting time together.  Love may be boundless but time and attention are not and I was grateful as ever for it.

I feel content after Saturday’s date with Traveler.  We wanted to do a little something different but weren’t really wanting to get gussied up and frankly we both really LIKE our little routine, so we just ate dinner somewhere different.  Interestingly we talked about our agreements.  Somehow we never explicitly did that and me being me, I liked getting it in words and layed out.  We pretty much have one agreement.  We like to be informed, and will continue to inform each other.  We’re good at it.  We talked about football and World of Warcraft and silly little things.  We had sex that left us both reeling and panting and fell asleep curled together.  He might let us interview him.  He’s thinking about it.

I am so eager to interview both Peaches and then Traveler’s Wife.  They have both agreed to talk to us for the podcast.  So cool!

I’m excited I’ll get to see Traveler’s Wife a lot this week.  We planned a girl’s night and we have Thanksgiving.  I can’t wait to dish with her.  We said we’d let Traveler come to dinner with us but I think we’ll get some girl time too afterward.  I feel so honored and loved to be included in their holiday.  I know a lot of people in my situation will be spending the day alone and have no access to their loved ones, and I’m grateful for such generosity.


And I can’t stop thinking non-stop about Roller Derby.  I joined a beginner’s league and went Saturday to get kitted up with all the things I need to play.  I feel like a kid with new school clothes.  I love my helmet and my gear.  I can’t wait to actually be any good. I just want to skate and skate and skate.  I made a huge Amazon wishlist of tights and socks and booty shorts.  

I’m just happy today and aware of my many blessings.  You ever have days like that when you just want to make gratitude lists?