Traveler and I Celebrate

Traveler and I have been together two years, as of Saturday. ¬†ūüôā

image on Beyonce arched upon the sand from

image on Beyonce arched upon the sand from

I can’t believe another year has gone by. ¬†We’re actually celebrating next week with a little “stay-cation” extended weekend, but yesterday was the actual day, and we celebrated in our little style. ¬†Heh. ¬†We cleaned gutters. ¬†Relax.. that’s not all.. but hear me a bit on this.

Cleaning gutters with Traveler is fun. ¬†Sure, it’s messy and a little tedious, but how great is it to be with someone that you HAVE FUN with while cleaning gutters? ¬†We found out his cats have been pooping on the roof and were flinging it off of there and STILLLL had a good time. ¬†In fact it was kinda hilarious. ¬†There were many poop jokes. ¬†It was a really shitty job. ¬†Heh.

So after our adventures in roof and gutter cleaning we got dolled up a bit and went to one of the nicest dinners I’ve had in a while. ¬†I was excited to be going out with Traveler. ¬†It was this little tapas joint on a beach nearby and we splurged on a very lovely bottle of wine, a bunch of tiny delicious plates, and just had the nicest and most relaxing time. ¬†I was feeling especially mushy, looking at his sweet face beaming with love there at the table and just told him emphatically, gushing with joy and feeling, “I’m so happy”. ¬†I said so many things with that little statement. ¬†We’d been talking about the kinda state of our union, and we were grinning like idiots, touching, laughing, making yummy noises. ¬†Everything was so good… the food, the delicious wine… the rich fantastic coffee pressed at our table, the homemade baklava… the conversation. ¬†Decadent. ¬†His smile. ¬†His laugh. ¬†His sweet face and warm eyes. ¬†Lovely. *Deep breath*

We kissed on the street and in the car.. passionate.  Warm.  Loving.  Hot.  I wanted him closer.. closer.. inside my body, no skin between us. Continue reading

47 Things

Ever notice in poly you get to feel 47 things at once? 


I just got back from a wonderful vacation with Traveler. ¬†It was relaxing and fun and beautiful. ¬†I walked through the door and started unpacking and planning to walk down the street fair by my house. ¬†Traveler and I plan to play WoW and maybe have a bite later and walking around sounds like a fun way to stretch my driving muscles. ¬†Quinky Girl is outta town until tomorrow, and we got back a day earlier than her. ¬†Poor man, Traveler has some more work stuff to do, but we’ll see how it goes and at least play WoW later. ¬†I love it. ¬†I love that even after all that time together we still want to see each other. ¬†It makes me feel so fucking loved. ¬†

So, checking in with everyone I have a brief chat with Cleveland and learn that he’s going to have¬†bagels with his wife in the morning and can’t come have breakfast with me on his way out of town. ¬†He can however pop by for a quick hug and kiss before his 2 week trip away. ¬†He said he could do sexy stuff too if I like, and the only response I could muster was “heh”. ¬†A week apart with no cell connectivity and almost no contact and seeing him before 2 more weeks apart also likely with little to no cell or other contact, and¬†the plan had to change. ¬†<facepalm> ¬†I’m just not ready to feel or deal with that one. ¬†I just want to enjoy my trip just a little bit longer, so I’m tabling my reaction to that. ¬†And what good would it do anyway? ¬†

Back to the good stuff.

Back to feeling wonderful. ¬†Back to feeling relaxed and happy and loved. ¬†Back to talk of the future and talk about the little scary things, and talk about everything else. ¬†Back to the sweet time together. ¬†Back to 800 miles of companionship and delicious dinners on the patio. ¬†Back to sleeping wrapped like spider monkeys most of the time. ¬†Back to kisses and hugs and snuggles and affection and passionate expressions that leave me breathless. ¬†One situation in life will NEVER replace the other here in matters of the heart, but just for tonight, just for now, I’m going to concentrate on the good stuff in my life and maybe table the things that hurt. ¬†Right this moment, right here and now, I’m deciding to feel just some of my 47 things. ¬†I just want to keep feeling happy. ¬†

sun rise

Talk about Sex? Who'd a Thunk It?

Movie title for Young Visiters from

Movie title for Young Visiters from

One of the nice things about living openly is that my old friend coming into town means I get to have fun introducing him to the people in my life without worry. ¬†All of them have asked me “Is it okay to talk freely?”, “Are there things.. ahem.. he shouldn’t know?”. ¬†Nope. ¬†I had to laugh too because people have asked if he’d delicate, or if he’d judge them because they were going through something, or if they should “behave around him”. ¬†Heh.

The idea that I’d be close friends with someone for 13 years and they’d be delicate or easily offended makes me laugh.

Ph.D, my friend, visited from Colorado. ¬†He came to this academic conference and to see me and have a good time. ¬†He is not, in fact, delicate nor easily offended. ¬†And I told everyone when they asked to speak freely. ¬†I’m not sure what would shock or offend my dear Ph.D, but I’m quite sure my friends and loves would have to struggle mightily to find it. ¬†On the flip side, he asked and I let him know that he could talk to my loves and my friends about anything. ¬†Hell, a few people at my work know a little bit about my life and if others found out I’d be relieved. ¬†When I began my job 5 years ago I was a very happily married monogamous woman.

We opened up, and a couple of years later broke up (not directly related) and it’s hard to figure out how to say “by the way I’m in love with a man I’ve been dating almost 2 years, some of which was when I was married to my husband”. ¬†Well.. actually that kinda answers that. ¬†You say something like that I guess. ¬†Or maybe you just leave off the dates. ¬†Maybe you just say you’re in an open relationship with these two guys and it’s working. ¬†I’m going to do exactly that eventually. ¬†When we talk about what we all did on the weekend, or plans, I mention that I did this with a man I’m dating. ¬†I know they assume I’m either not dating these men very seriously, or that the more relationship stuff is all the same man. ¬†Whatever. ¬†If I ever have good reason I’m fine with outing myself at work. ¬†I sort of think (like a friend says) that poly people have a responsibility to out themselves in casual situations. ¬†I think this is how acceptance starts, with familiarity.

Earnest looking character from "The Young Visiters" (yes spelled that way) from

Earnest looking character from “The Young Visiters” (yes spelled that way) from

So, yep.. good visit with Ph.D. ¬†I was going to write a much longer and more in depth post about this, but well.. I’m not. ¬†The visit was wonderful. ¬†I loved having my friend here and loved some time with him. ¬†Oh? ¬†You hear a but? ¬†Yeah. ¬†There is a but. Continue reading

Back to Life…

ImagePh.D is home again and it was a good visit having him here. ¬†Today it’s back to work, back to life and back to reality.

It’s wonderful to have people you’re crazy about visit and wonderful in ways to have the visit end. ¬†I told him I’d like to lift his life up and move it closer, because it’d be so cool to have my friend closer and see him more, and so nice to have my space. ¬†I like having my time and apartment back. ¬†I miss my men so fucking much. ¬†I saw them both a bit, and I had lovely lovely time with the murder as a whole, which was so nice, but I have to admit I’m really looking forward to just a normal date with Traveler tonight.

I have a bunch of blogs to finish and get out, but I just wanted to kinda celebrate a really nice visit really quickly, and a really nice return to reality. ¬†I miss the little alone times with my sweeties. ¬†I miss our routines. ¬†Traveler was out of town and then I had guests, so I miss everything about our times. ¬†I can’t wait to talk, just us, and to curl up with him. ¬†I can’t wait to sleep with him and smell him and snuggle him. ¬†I can’t wait to play WoW and I can’t wait to get him naked. ¬†I can’t wait to fuck him. ¬†It’s been like.. 11 days since our last real date together. ¬†Can’t. ¬†Fucking. ¬†Wait.

It’s funny.. I’m so eager to have sex with him and lay tangled like we do, but I’m most eager just to have our normal quiet night. ¬†I just want to be able to touch him a lot. ¬†I think I ache most to talk to him, just him and I, and to pet his warm soft skin. ¬†I’ve been dreaming of sleeping with my warm sweet man for days and of kissing him freely. ¬†Yay for great times with really great friends as house guests and yay for the return to life and reality. ¬†ūüėÄ

He Went There With Me

**Hey there reader.¬† This one is about a wonderful date and includes some descriptive talk of a date and sex with Traveler.¬† Just helping you make informed decisions.¬† M’kay?**

toy suitcaseTraveler and I had a date last night.¬† It was to be our only date in a three week period because of traveling schedules not aligning.¬† Damn you December.¬† I’ve been missing him something fierce.¬† It was really hard to be in Chicago and come home knowing we were kinda slapping hands midair as I flew home and he flew out.¬† I found myself pining for him.¬† Traveler’s wife was a total fucking gem and invited me over before she and I were to go out to have yummy dinner together and give me a chance to kiss Traveler really quick when he got home and before he went on his date with Peaches Friday night.¬† I got to see him and get a few hugs and kisses and we sent him off.¬† She and I had the loveliest evening as we ate her delicious stuffed squash and hit this magical cocktail bar in Capitol Hill.¬† There’s something fucking awesome about dishing with your gals.

So with Traveler, it was hard to wait till he got here for our date on Sunday.¬† I had the house completely to myself for the evening, a lovely rarity.¬† He had to take care of some things at home and I was itching for him to get here.¬† I greeted him at the door all gussied up in thigh-highs, garters, fuck me pumps, a verrrrrrry short school-girl skirt, an unbuttoned sweater, and lacy unmentionables.¬† He was very appreciative.¬† I kissed and hugged and squeezed him so tight and he ran to shower quickly.¬† toy shoesI poured the wine and met him with candles and music and pet his warm fresh skin.¬† We lay on the bed together and caught up a little.¬† I gave him a heads up about the bruises he would find.¬† He seemed amused and happy for me, and asked me to tell him about it, so I did.¬† He smiled and laughed with me, with my embarrassment and joy, as I told him about my night with Boss.¬† When I was done, he kissed me deeply as he teased me, with me still clothed in my little outfit.¬† I asked him if he was trying to make me cum because he had me so close, and he said naughtily “maybe…”.¬† I came a few times before I could even get my outfit off.¬† I don’t know what got into him!

We put down a towel, because it was clear he’d make me make a mess.¬† Um.¬† Yes please.¬† He proceeded teasing and tantalizing me, touching me and playing and exploring with me in all the ways he knows I love, from the sweet to the intense, and I came and came and came, surprised at him.¬†toy leia I asked him, between his ministrations, what had gotten into him and he said “this is what you hoped for with that outfit, isn’t it?”.¬† Well, no.¬† I’d just hoped for some yummy passionate sex.¬† I hadn’t dreamed he’d play me like a fiddle!¬† I told him I’d wear ANYTHING HE WANTS.¬† I was already a puddle of sweat and flood and tingling nerves when he finally fucked me, so deep and lingering and so well.¬† I was jelly by the time we finished.¬† My nerves were singing too loudly to work well together any more.¬† We held each other and shook and kissed for a while.

Our starvation took over after a while and I made him dinner and we talked about all kinds of things.  It was a good conversation, clearing the air.

toy dinner

And then the most miraculous thing happened.¬† We were washing dishes and kibitzing.¬† He said he thought Boss had been to his OKCupid and I showed him Boss’s pic.¬† (They are both straight.¬† I am assuming this is curiosity).¬† He asked about Boss’s “situation” and I told him the layout as I knew it of Boss’s relationships.¬† I mentioned that the members of Boss’s house have their own rooms but tend to stay with each other, and he said he’d like that.¬† I held my breath as he explained that if he had the money he thought it’d be nice if he and the people he lived with could each have their own rooms, and then have a room that is just for the people in the house.. kind of a sacred space.¬† He talked about his thoughts for that room.¬† There was something about him talking about “the people” he’d live with that touched me.¬† Currently he lives only with his wife.¬† He has mentioned in the past that they’ve talked about the possibility of cohabitation with others, and he and I have talked about things like the realm of possibility for our relationship, but he was talking about what he’d like with the people he was going to live with and talking about the thoughts he had about how they’d do it.¬† It sounded like something that would happen, even if the details were still totally open.¬† I said “Don’t be scared, but it makes me really happy that you are talking about this”.

He smiled and kept washing.¬† He said it was obviously something he thinks about with me, living together and being a family.¬† He said he thought it made sense for us to live together not just for romantic reasons, though of course there are lots of those.¬† He told me a few.¬† He said, “you know there are good practical reasons for us to live together too, and to be a family”, and he told me some of those too.¬† I must have looked like kid on Christmas morning.¬† I was overjoyed.

homeI don’t want to get married again, but I would like to be a family, when I’ve had more time to heal, to have the people that I care about and that care about me together in some way.¬† Traveler’s wife and I have talked about our tribe and our people.¬† It was just so nice to hear Traveler talking about our little family too, and that he included me in it.¬† We were talking about things that are far away and we weren’t making any decisions or plans, obviously, but it was¬† such a heartening thing to hear my sweet man talking in a concrete way about these things with me.¬† I had been grasping my dishtowel, listening, and went to him and hugged him hard from behind.

We weren’t making promises or saying how it would look, but we were saying openly that we wanted it.¬† It wasn’t abstract.¬† He was talking about me and I was talking about him and we were acknowledging the family we are making and talking about little dreams we might have about it.¬† He was braver or bolder than I am and I’m really grateful.¬† I like the idea of some day.¬† I love that he went there.

I’m getting to see him Tuesday too after a work thing.¬† It won’t be a big old date, and will likely be 20 mins of snuggling followed by sleeping in his arms, but I WILL TAKE IT.¬† Happy.¬† Just happy.

Enjoying Myself at "Myself!", the kinky play party

Sweetnesses- If you date or love me or just don’t wanna read about sexy times with others, skip this one.¬† Muah!


I attended Myself! for the first time tonight with Boss, on our first ever play date.¬† I got nervous beforehand and did this thing I often do before a big date.¬† I didn’t want to go.¬† It’s not that I actually don’t want to go.¬† It’s that I get nervous.¬† It occurs especially when it’s a first time”sexy type” date.¬† I get all excited and look forward the date, and then all of a sudden it’s here and I feel like there is pressure and I don’t want to go because “What did I do? Setting an expectation for sex!?”.¬† I’m a weirdo.¬† I went and was happy to go, but on the way there I was nervous.¬† I’ve talked to Boss quite a bit though and I knew I actually wanted to go and that whatever happened it’d be a good time.¬† He seems like a genuinely good person and I’m quite sure it would have been no problem at all if I’d said I didn’t feel like having sex.¬† Feeling like I could say no at any time conversely made me want to have sex again.¬† Like I said, I’m a weirdo.

The Myself party is a masturbation-friendly party that has morphed into this really cool party with lots of things and a huge attendance. It may be one of my favorites.¬† It’s open to members and non-members and it’s relatively cheap, and the atmosphere is pretty hot.¬† There are rules in place to make people feel safe and it’s more open than most of the parties I’ve been to at the kink club.¬† Pretty much anything the club allows is allowed and a few things are allowed that seem unique to this party.¬† First, there are lots of men and lots of men masturbating.¬† This is not allowed at most parties.¬† I loved that!¬† It’s funny how comfortable it made me feel to have men undressed and touching themselves, watching people play.¬† They were just somehow… more vulnerable or not at all predatory in this way.¬† They were just appreciators and that was less intimidating.¬† I really liked it.¬† It made me very comfortable to be naked and to play around them with them in various stages of undress and/or masturbating.¬† It appealed to my exhibitionist and voyeur streaks.

Sometimes the men were invited to take part of the festivities or scenes but party-goers didn’t have to have any interaction at all if they didn’t want it.¬† People playing could wear arm bands that indicated if they wanted to be approached or asked and it seemed people didn’t ask much without the arm band.¬† There were all kinds of people.. kinky and vanilla, straight and gay and queer young and old and just.. everything.¬† This too was very comfortable.¬† There were all kinds of bodies and orientations and such.

ImageIt was pretty damn hot.   There were places in back to play and be watched or interacted with as people chose and places in the midst of the crowd on the main floor to put on a show.  There were chairs to watch different areas and room to mill about and see what struck your fancy.  There was gay and straight porn and plenty of supplies to be safe and contain messes if you made any.

Boss and I said greetings to various people and then sat off to the side for a bit.¬† We wandered the back room and the main floor and took in the sights and settled into conversation in our corner.¬† At one point I laughed that we were talking about such everyday stuff while a couple writhed naked 5 feet from us and there were people watching and fucking and masturbating and spanking all around us.¬† We went in back again after a bit and watched a lovely girl in bliss with a few men just touching her and Boss and I went around to the other side.¬† He asked if I’d like to get up into the swing.¬† Clothed, I did.

Continue reading

Having the Time

I’m on vacation with Traveler and having the nicest time. ¬†We’re laughing and talking a lot and walking and just being. ¬†We’ve had fun walking around and having talks over pints, enjoying history, playing WoW, having fun naughty times and just being. ¬†I know I keep saying it, but it’s such an amazing gift of time. ¬†It’s been nice to have nowhere to be and nothing to do. ¬†We had the best time looking at miniatures and laughing about the snooty people at the bug zoo. ¬†Today we watched curling and talked for a couple of hours at a pub. ¬†We walked all day in the rain and enjoyed Canadians. ¬†I can’t believe it’s our first trip together. ¬†I am a huge fan.

We’ve had time to talk and talk. ¬†We’ve had time to not talk. We have laughed and laughed and laughed. ¬†We’ve had time to touch to our hearts content. ¬†We’ve had time for everything. ¬†He’s an easy guy to travel with. ¬†I just feel so contented. ¬†I smile and smile. ¬†We stayed in bed till 11 today doing nothing at all after waking at 7:30 or so. ¬†A year in and I’m still so in new love with him. ¬†I love his skin and his smile and his goofy humor. ¬†I love that we had a very serious discussion about jelly over breakfast this morning, discerning the possibility of saying if one jelly is really worth more than another. ¬†Content. ¬†Just so fucking happy. ¬†I have to go play WoW with him for an hour or so before dinner. ¬†We have quests. ¬†