Piercing It

A while back, shortly after Great Date and I broke up and Hubby and I decided to divorce, I decided I would get piercings.  I’d long wanted nipple piercings, but Hubby didn’t really care for them, so I’d held off.  In the aftermath of our marriage, thinking about all kinds of things great and small that I might want to do with myself, piercings and tattoos came up.  I already have a number of tattoos and would like more.  I decided to pierce my nipples and get a vertical hood piercing.  Nipples take forever to heal, but it is an investment of time I suppose.  They are a lot more sensitive and I like my breasts a lot more now.  I’ve always like stimulation to my nipples, and it’s just a lot more interesting now.  I never really liked my breasts, the way they looked, and I think they are cuter now.  They are about 9 months old and I think nearly healed.  The painful healing part was fast, but you have to be careful with them, not to pull on them too much for a good long time to allow them to fully heal properly.

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Beautiful woman with facial piercings found at: http://crunchmodo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/body-piercings.jpg

I went back a short while later and got that vertical hood piercing, and that my friends, that was a damn good idea.  It might be my favorite body modification ever.  I had an orgasm in the grocery store walking down an aisle while it healed.  The crazy amazing sensitivity went away for me in about 2 weeks or so, which was actually a good thing.  The hardest part for me on the healing was not messing with it.  Every time I got excited I could feel my clit stimulated by the bar as it swelled in my hood and I got wet.  That’s not super convenient.  It become a tortuously sexy feedback loop.  Random thought- swelling- clit stimulated by the bar- more excited- wet- very aware of my own excitement and utterly unable to do anything about it… wah. Continue reading

Cold Comfort

I finally hashed it all out with Hubby.  It’s resolved.  We’re are splitting everything and filing as soon as we can.  Feeling strangely weepy.  It’s funny.. I remember sitting in my apartment hearing him talk to his ex the way he was talking to me just now and thinking.. hmm.. I should pay attention to this.  THIS is how he treats loves when he is over them and mad at them.  I thought he was so unreasonable because she was so awful, and she really was.  But I’m starting to see maybe part of why she was so awful was putting up with his shit there at the end.  I know he sees me as bitter and unreasonable, but he’s so labile and easily angered.  He reacts and yells and cannot reason at all.  Huh.  Guess I should have paid more attention to how he treated his existing and old loves.  He did end up treating me that way some day.  Eh.. 13 years is a good run.

Still.. I got off and was weepy.  There it is.  I know my father would be upset that I am sharing half of his life savings with the man who did to me what Hubby did.  I know he did not want it to go to Hubby, but I can see no other way to be reasonable.  As it ends up I’m walking away with pretty much everything of my father’s and nothing from our marriage.. if you add it up.  I guess that gives me a little comfort.  Fine.. I’m not splitting my dad’s money.  I am just not taking our marital assets.  Oddly I DO find this comforting.  (We really just split everything down the middle). 

So.. a little cry and some music.

Traveler called and it turns out he stayed home from work today too and worked on paperwork and business.  (That’s what I did all day).  He didn’t shower yet either.  I’m packing a bag and starting my night by fucking my boyfriend in the shower, getting some loves, and then playing WoW with some pizza.  There are definite advantages to this way of life. 

I had a scheduling snafu and was pretty bummed I won’t see Cleveland tonight, but thankfully he is amazing and can see me Wednesday.  There are even more advantages to dating sweet wonderful grown men.  I gotta make that up to him somehow…..

Why why why?

God bless it. It’s day one and already it’s stupid. My husband is so convinced I want to fuck him over. I’d like not to be stupid or hire lawyers or whatever. We wanted to take some time to let this all sink in. Already he’s getting wacky. He got upset because I moved the insurance on my car and got rental insurance. Seriously? Why?

We are in fact separate and I don’t live there. Even if we wait and find we’d like to magically get back together, I still don’t live there and won’t for a while. He started talking about how he knows he’s fucked and ill take him to the cleaners. What the fuck?
I swear to god it’s like he didn’t share a life with me. I’ve never been money grubbing or weird about money and he knows this. Why would I start now?

He replaced me. He threw me away and I just keep asking to be fair. Seriously? I’m giving him the house and furniture. I’m splitting my inheritance he’s not legally entitled to because it’s morally right. What is wrong with him? But then.. Just because we’re split, why would it all be reasonable now?

The Sum Total

I went to my house yesterday to pick up some more things, and Hubby came home before I was finished.  It was all made clear.  He said he isn’t doing well, and that he doesn’t see any hope.  He would like our split to be permanent.  Honestly, I would too.  I don’t see how we could fight back from this.  We started the preliminary talks.  I get to the dividing in a second.

Right this moment, I’m shocked.  I don’t know why I’m shocked, because it’s what I’ve been thinking.  We separated and he hasn’t wanted to really talk since.  In his defense, I haven’t really either.  It’s been nice not dealing with someone’s constant hate.  The stuff he says is so patently false and strange.  I have hopes we can come to an agreement about our stuff, but I think it’s going to be a challenge because already I can see unreasonableness on his part.

Now about the stuff.  I need to total it all up.

We have a house here local and it’s at the about even or slightly below point.  It also has a nice big mortgage.  He can afford it and I cannot, so I’m willing to walk away.  He’ll make a pretty penny in a couple of years, but he’ll have to cover the mortgage with his big old salary to do so, so that seems fair.  Because he has this big old salary he also gets our dogs and a cat.  I’ll take the other cat.  (I can only have one).  The pets are additional financial burdens, but again, he can afford them and I can’t.  Makes sense if he’s taking the house that he should take most of the pets.  (This is by far the hardest part to divide) Continue reading