Dating isn't for Sissies..

As Quinky Girl and I begin to date anew, and as I read posts on the board for people dating on OKC, I find again that dating isn’t for sissies.

from onlinedatingmagazine.com

from onlinedatingmagazine.com

Guys talk about sending out messages by the boat-full and hearing silence.  Women are beaten by messages demanding things, insulting, cat-fishing, and basically just yelling “LOOK AT MY DICK!  LET ME PUT IT PLACES!!!”

Everyone is asking, “Does it really have to be this hard?”.  I see that time and again in the craigslist postings and the Adult Friend Finder profiles and the OKC profiles and messages.  Women make laundry lists of rules trying to weed out the obnoxious shit we get and men sound a little panicked that nobody seems to want to engage them, much less ride them.

Then you meet someone interesting.

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One Legged Man- Ass Kicking

colors are loaded into a palm of a hand for Holi

colors are loaded into a palm of a hand for Holi

Holy fuck-balls people.  I overbooked myself.  My loves are overbooked.  My calendar looks like a sidewalk after an Indian Holi celebration (where they throw all the colors).  Traveler and I haven’t had a regular weekend date in a month.  And I’m not even getting the short end of the stick!  He and Quinky Girl are in a similar boat for the most part.

But seriously.  We haven’t had anything like dinner, an evening, and breakfast in a month.  We spent some time together on Sunday and it was the first day we’ve had in a long long time where we were just together, and even that we spent it working.  It was so fucking nice just to sit on a couch with him.

We’re seeing each other, sometimes 3 days a week.  But it’s including a lot of parties, Burning Man events, yard work, potlucks, group things and all-together-get-togethers.  If we didn’t all eat breakfast together sometimes neither Quinky or I would eat a breakfast with him each week.  Often we are cramming a bagel in our mouths as we hit the road.  It’s crazy.   Continue reading

What to ask Traveler?

Traveler and I will finally record a podcast we planned long ago. The podcast is coming back retooled!

What would you like to ask Traveler? He will reserve the right not to answer anything he doesn’t want to, so feel free to ask anything at all.

That’s right! Traveler finally speaks. Help me know what to ask him.

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If it helps bring up questions… He has been open for 14 or so years, and in love with two women for 3 years, and previously for a couple of years. He’s had three open loving committed relations at a time. He is friendly with the men his wife and I date. He’s very rarely jealous. And he’s hardly ever sick at sea. (Kidding)

Also, interestingly, both his wife and I are poly bloggers, and he does not identify as poly though he and Quinkygirl are very much in love and together nearly 15 years and he says he’s madly in love with me and we’ve been together 2 years and 8 months. His wife and girlfriend are very very close and love each other. He’s incredibly loving, great in bed, and a deeply good confidant. Curious? Ask stuff!

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Relationships. Oi Vey.  We’re working out good things and it’s hard but good work.  So, let’s just talk about sexy adventures instead.  Except for this one thing… this one huge thing.  Traveler did it again a few times now, talked about me as one of his two partners.  He said it a couple of ways now.  Holy shit holy shit holy shit.  Happy.  I’ve literally been smiling at random times just thinking about it.  Now.. on to other stuff…

I met someone new,and I don’t wanna jinx it or read into it, so I’ll just say I’m excited.  What is it?  I dunno.  What could it be?  Not sure.  But it’s fun to have hope.

coins shine in a wishing well

coins shine in a wishing well

As you might know, Traveler and I are entertaining sexy adventures with women.  It’s been fun to dream and wish and fun to have a little play.  We had some very nice sexy times with my friend and have some dreams about another friend who is also maybe a little interested.  She and I talked about not wanting to muck up our beautiful budding friendship and reassured each other.  I don’t know what that’ll be, but I’m hopeful.  Aside from being cool as hell she’s so fucking sexy.  And she and Traveler have mutual admiration too.  Squee! Continue reading

Tug of War?

We are officially not in the land of new relationships and it’s complicated sometimes.  Sometimes we do it very well and sometimes we fumble a bit and work to figure it out.  Traveler and I had a little fritzy-bit, nothing huge, but just a thing between the two of us and something we worked out.  And then another totally unrelated one a little after.  It seems simple at first, but it’s actually not.  I just wanna share how sometimes the answer isn’t a simple thing with one person right and one person wrong.

I was a little nervous about some new social engagements and Traveler very sweetly said he’d go to a couple of the things with me, one of which was Monday and one of which was coming up next weekend.  Then when we were planning our week this week he remembered and said that he’d come with me and said he’d like to come stay the night with me after.  I reminded him that Quinky Girl would be going too, and that was awesome.  We’d all go and he and he and I would come home together after. Cool.  I have to admit it’s nice to get to get the one he comes home with after a nice night where we all hung out.  It’s not a date but just a normal night and I get to have that too.  Kinda awesome and rad that such things aren’t just the domain of Traveler’s one partner.

That morning he asked me to pick up something for him for the potluck when I ran to the store.  He said to run it by Quinky to be sure we didn’t mess up whatever her plan was.  Excellent.  Good idea.  But I forgot to run it by her until the last minute and she was rushing out to get her things done and wasn’t able to coordinate with me.  She thought we’d all just all do our own thing but she didn’t know because I’d fucked up and not told her that Traveler had asked me to get stuff for him.  She and Traveler had worked out something after Traveler and I working out our thing that morning, but I didn’t know what.

Had she just told him what she was bringing and he still expected me to pick up what he’d asked me to, or had he talked about what he’d asked me to pick up and she was getting it now?  Or were they just doing something different?.  She was driving and couldn’t answer.  I was at the store and needed to make a decision.  Do I buy the stuff he thought he might want me to get but wasnt sure about or not?  I asked him.  He was at work and didn’t answer.  Shit.  I waited and the store and tried a little more but wasn’t able to reach anyone.  Okay.. no big deal.  I’d just buy what he’d asked me to and if we had too much or the wrong thing it’s not a big deal. Shrug.

Then he pops up and we make a plan.  He’ll be at my house by 645 to drop off his car and we’ll go back to his house to get Quinky since her dish would take a little more time.  Great.  I ran home and heated my meatballs fast.  I get ready super fast and end up waiting.  Around the time he’s supposed to be at my house he pops up again and says that Quinky’s dish is baking but will take a little longer and they’ll be ready at 730.  Um. Okay.  I ask “are you not coming here to drop off your car anymore?”  No answer.  Does he need to watch the oven?

He could still come here to drop off his car since the mushrooms will need almost an hour.  It’s 6:39 and he’s saying they’ll be done around 7:30.  I ask if he and Quinky are caravanning here then on the way to the potluck because he said he’d take the bridge and I live by it.  Are they dropping off his car later?  No answer.  I’m a little annoyed.  What happened to our plan?  Why is he not telling me anything?  I guess the plan changed.

I sat there waiting some more.

Two people made out of boxes engage in a tug of war.  From http://www.heritageradiott.com

Two people made out of boxes engage in a tug of war. From http://www.heritageradiott.com

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Sharing

I love it when I hit a little jag and spiral on a sexy interest.  It fascinates and excites me.

couple on computer

I’m still having fun chatting with people from Craigslist, even if I met a couple people that were totally not a good fit, one that totally was a great fit and that never contacted me again, and one that I had the fun night with.  But an old desire might be eclipsing my little jaunt into the world of rare and fun casual sex with dudes from Craigslist.

It’s women.  More specifically it’s women to share.

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Freedom

*** to avoid serious vague-blogging drama queen stuff… I am completely and utterly okay.  This is an observation of a moment and a snippet of a broader feeling.  It’s just a way to get it out.  I repeat… I am okay.  It’s just expressing a thing.***

All we have to see

Is that I don’t belong to you

And you don’t belong to me, yeah yeah

Freedom, freedom, freedom

You’ve gotta give for what you take

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