So, things are pretty good… but I was freaking out a little. I’ve been spending a lot of time looking at reconstructed breasts and what the hell all of this involves. And it’s freaking me out a little. In NOT-unexpected keystone-cop-style awesomeness, the VA lost the consult to finish my genetic testing. It’s going to take about a month to get results and I have to start over. The office that recommends where to get the test is overwhelmed and can’t recommend where I need to go. So I spent a bunch of today looking at websites for genetic testing centers and oncology departments and trying to figure out how to gauge such things. Then I spent a bunch of time last night and tonight looking at reconstructed breasts and procedures. I had been laughing and amusing myself with the idea of perkier, bigger augmented breasts as a reward for all of this BRCA gene bullshit. But that’s not really accurate is it? I might end up with breasts that don’t have nipples.. or surgeries that remove muscle and fat from my stomach to make new breasts, or weeks of inflating tissue expanders under my “breasts” to make room for implants under my chest wall to make new breasts, AFTER mastectomy and a surgery to preserve nipples, if I’m lucky. Is it just me or does all of that sound like a horror show?
And the pictures. They are freaking me out a little. I don’t like getting fillings in my TEETH because I hate being vulnerable. What the fuck am I going to do if I have to spend months removing and making new breasts??!? Deep breath. I’d live. Continue reading