Quinky Girl Understands "Too Much"

I read this post by Quinky Girl at Blogspot.  It’s called The Mystery of Medusa.  Holy shit.  Holy Shit. 

ImageI said to her:

“Holy shit.  Printing.  I can’t believe someone said it.  I can’t believe someone gets “too much” and all the layers of it.  I simply can’t explain too much.  I get twisted and don’t have the words and it comes out weaker and stronger than I mean it and with all the wrong emphasis.  You’re right that the particulars are different, but that the feelings are similar.  I saw my thoughts and feelings in so much of what you wrote.  It’s been a year of coming to terms with “too much” again.  I thought this was one I had licked.  I grew so much with it and at first I was exhausted to find myself here again, but I see it’s a journey with me.  I’m not in the same place, but I am on the same path or digging in the same vein or whatever.  I like the growth but I don’t always like the process.  I accept it, but it’s not comfortable.  That’s okay.  My life is not about being as comfortable as I can be.  Thank you for digging this up and posting it”.

Fugees – Killing Me Softly

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd.
I felt he’d found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on.

Strumming my pain with his fingers.
Singing my life with his words.
Killing me softly with his song.
Killing me softly with his song.
Telling my whole life with his words.
Killing me softly.

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there.
But he was there, this stranger, singing clear and loud.

 

Blogging and Dating.. yes it's stolen

So, I’m stealing this topic from a friend.  Blogging and Dating.

tmiI find that I’m pretty inconsistent in telling people that I am dating that I have a blog or that they would appear in it.  Hubby knows I have it and has expressed zero interest in reading it, Thank God.  I think he’s afraid I’ll ask him to read it so he does this weird like averting of his eyes and leaving the room when I’m writing it.  It’s kinda funny.  He knows pretty much everything in the blog anyway.  We’re pretty “sharey” that way.

Great Date reads it occasionally and Roller Girl does too.  I have not told Kinky Boy that I have a blog.  I haven’t told the writer, and I haven’t told most of my dates.  I told one guy I’m talking to from OK Cupid, but it’s not clear at this point if we can be friends or if we’ll date.

I do find myself censoring occasionally and I can’t help it.  I didn’t talk as lasciviously as I would about the mind blowingly awesome date I had with Roller Girl because I knew both she and Great Date would read it and a) I don’t want Roller Girl to be offended and refuse to have sex with me again because I LOVE sex with Roller Girl.  b) I don’t want to hurt Great Date’s feelings because we have not yet had sex.  I like him and he’s hot, but I feel a small hesitation because I’m not sure about us and I don’t want him to think I’m not interested or to be hurt by rave reviews of sex with other people.  I’m not a total douche and I know he’s a real person with feelings.  c) I don’t want them to see what a freaking mushy sex fiend I actually am till I’ve slept with both of them many many times and they are too hooked to reject me.
Just being honest.  🙂

I haven’t figured out yet for me “how much is too much” as to my level of sharing.  I guess I feel some freedom to over-share because it’s an anonymous blog and frankly I do not have enough (read any) poly friends that I’m not dating.  I’m trying to make some, and I’m excited about going to a meetup this week.