**I thought this posted yesterday, but it actually saved as a draft, so today will be a two-fer. Just a heads up too.. skip if graphic talk of sex and kink with Boss would be unwelcome. Thanks!**
First a few little housekeeping details… I saw Rollergirl last night for the Roller Derby meet and we had a nice visit. She and my ex Hubby have broken up. I knew this was coming. They have both told me they wanted to break up with the other for weeks now. They like and care about each other and there were lots of good things, but there was lots of bad too on both sides and their being together was just really unhealthy. They had reasons that were more about now and reasons that were more about incompatibility, but I still think it was hard. I thought it would take longer than it did. I feel the tiniest bit vindicated somehow, but I really do feel bad for both of them. I think it’s healthy and they both seem to think it’s healthy too that they broke up, but endings aren’t fun and despite it all I still love them and therefore don’t wish them to be unhappy. Hubby and I divorcing, RollerGirl and I broken up, and Hubby and Rollergirl finally breaking up with each other is a sucky end. It is what it is. I hope some day he’ll be better. I hope RollerGirl and I are too. There are lots of good things I miss about him as a person, and it’d be nice to be friends. You never know. Someday…
But on to better things. I went to the black and blue party last night with Boss. It was a bunch of firsts for me.
I’ve never been to the black and blue party, though I have wanted to go. I love impact play. By impact play I mean being spanked and flogged and hit with things. We met beforehand at this amazing little neighborhood place called Essex. They have ridiculously good drinks and make a bunch of stuff there themselves. So after a quick drink and some delicious cauliflower toasts we hit the club.
When we arrived people were already playing and there was some nice grindy blues on the sound system. We greeted friends and got situated in the center of the play space. I was excited and nervous. I’ve been to a lot of events and had a few dabblings, but this was my first time playing playing with Boss and my first time really playing at the club. Boss opened his bag and explored things with me, and it was my first time with some of that stuff too.
He had a few single tale whips, which excited and scared me. I like the idea of some delicious pain, but I didn’t know if I was ready for straight up whipping.. turns out I needn’t have worried. He had canes and a loop fabric thing with a handle and metal shot filling, and paint stir-sticks and gags. He had me ask for what I wanted, which I was slightly ready for since he’d told me he would. I wanted all of it, except maybe the gags, and I managed to pick a few things. It’s uncomfortable to ask for what I want. I have this especially with kink, where I feel like I’m asking him to do a lot of work to please me and I’m not totally clear that it’s not a selfish wish of mine. I have the same difficulty asking people to eat my pussy or give me a back rub or whatever. I don’t want to ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do.
We got set up and he said “take off whatever you are comfortable taking off”. Oh man. I asked him to kiss me. He did.. a little… and said I’d get more when I took more off. Oi Vey. I took off my pants.. kiss kiss. I took off my shirt.. kiss kiss kiss. And he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply and pushed himself against me as he unhooked and removed my bra. Sizzle.
We began to play, so slowly and lightly at first. We kissed here and there and had intense eye contact as he lightly cropped me.. here and there.. dancing on my skin.. warming. We started with me facing him, facing out into the room, and I was very cognizant of the people watching and of my nakedness at first. It was a delicious fear. It excited me to be watched, to watch him, to gauge his facial expressions and briefly flick my attention to the crowd here and there until the sensations increased and I forgot they were present. My body warmed and my skin sang and I got wetter and wetter as he teased me and tantalized me and built…so.. very… slowly.
He surprised me too in these little fits, when he pressed himself against me, kissed me, and when we let me reach and stroke his cock. He smiled and gave me a sort of low laugh as I squeezed him, pleased. He kept it fairly light, since it was our first time together and I’m still so new, but he left me some excellent reminders. I’m guessing he’s working up. It’s a good plan.
I’m a little sore, and I’m bruised fairly well on my breasts and thighs from the cane, but I like it. It’s a little delicacy to have flashes back to last night. His hands, him grinding against me, the thud and sting and snap, and his taste come to me in little bursts. I like to be reminded of the lick of his whip and of grasping the bed with my white knuckles while I flooded, and the pounding grinding aching delight of the back room. I like the smile I get thinking of making him tingle with my fingertips on his skin and of the warmth of wrapping myself around him after, not wanting to let go and not feeling like I had to.
Cleveland asked me already how last night went because he was so compersive and felt such joy at the idea of me having naughty fun. It’s a rare treat to get to enjoy his pleasure at my pleasure. I think I’m starting to believe he really isn’t going to be mean or spiteful or accusatory. I’m starting to get that he really might be okay, and that if he ever isn’t, maybe he’ll talk to me about it like a human being and we’ll work it out.
I don’t know what Traveler will say about the marks. We have a date tonight. He surprises me all the time, but he’s usually so supportive of the exploits of me and his wife and Peaches. A few times when I’ve had a bruise here or there he’s guessed its origin, smiled, and said something like “very nice” before he fucked me silly. I don’t know if it’s just that he knows how I feel about him and how he rocks me and therefore he doesn’t have cause for insecurity or that he’s just so happy with what makes the women he is with happy that it doesn’t matter, or maybe even just that he’s used to how well things run so well with him and his wife, but generally I feel like he’s in my corner and he celebrates whatever my successes are. If he shocks me and needs reassurance or love or whatever I’ll give it gladly.
Ah, but it’s time to get ready. Time to go shower and enjoy the view of my delicious reminders. 🙂