Zappy!

Boss and I hit the Myself! party at the kink club again this past weekend.  If it’s not obvious, this one is gonna have some explicit sex.  😉 APTOPIX Summer StormThe Myself! party is a masturbation friendly sex and bdsm party.  Pretty much anything the club allows is allowed, and all the areas are open for watching and playing.  So, we marked another introduction off of my bucket list.  Earlier that night I was thinking “why did I schedule a date for the night after I moved!?!?!”.  I was exhausted.  I’d spent all of Saturday moving and unpacking until about 9pm.  Then I’d spent all of Sunday unpacking and getting some items from my ex-husband’s house.  Everything was sore.  Even my fingers hurt.  I wanted to cancel because I could not imagine having the energy to be sexy, but I decided to go, knowing I’d have a great time if I went. Funny how some sexy energy can make you rally.  😀 Continue reading

Black and Blue

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**I thought this posted yesterday, but it actually saved as a draft, so today will be a two-fer.  Just a heads up too.. skip if graphic talk of sex and kink with Boss would be unwelcome.  Thanks!**

First a few little housekeeping details… I saw Rollergirl last night for the Roller Derby meet and we had a nice visit.  She and my ex Hubby have broken up.  I knew this was coming.  They have both told me they wanted to break up with the other for weeks now.  They like and care about each other and there were lots of good things, but there was lots of bad too on both sides and their being together was just really unhealthy.  They had reasons that were more about now and reasons that were more about incompatibility, but I still think it was hard.  I thought it would take longer than it did. I feel the tiniest bit vindicated somehow, but I really do feel bad for both of them.  I think it’s healthy and they both seem to think it’s healthy too that they broke up, but endings aren’t fun and despite it all I still love them and therefore don’t wish them to be unhappy.  Hubby and I divorcing, RollerGirl and I broken up, and Hubby and Rollergirl finally breaking up with each other is a sucky end.   It is what it is.  I hope some day he’ll be better.  I hope RollerGirl and I are too.  There are lots of good things I miss about him as a person, and it’d be nice to be friends.  You never know.  Someday…

But on to better things.  I went to the black and blue party last night with Boss.  It was a bunch of firsts for me.

I’ve never been to the black and blue party, though I have wanted to go.  I love impact play.  By impact play I mean being spanked and flogged and hit with things.  We met beforehand at this amazing little neighborhood place called Essex.  They have ridiculously good drinks and make a bunch of stuff there themselves.  So after a quick drink and some delicious cauliflower toasts we hit the club.

When we arrived people were already playing and there was some nice grindy blues on the sound system.  We greeted friends and got situated in the center of the play space.  I was excited and nervous.  I’ve been to a lot of events and had a few dabblings, but this was my first time playing playing with Boss and my first time really playing at the club.  Boss opened his bag and explored things with me, and it was my first time with some of that stuff too.

whipHe had a few single tale whips, which excited and scared me.  I like the idea of some delicious pain, but I didn’t know if I was ready for straight up whipping.. turns out I needn’t have worried.  He had canes and a loop fabric thing with a handle and metal shot filling, and paint stir-sticks and gags.  He had me ask for what I wanted, which I was slightly ready for since he’d told me he would.  I wanted all of it, except maybe the gags, and I managed to pick a few things.  It’s uncomfortable to ask for what I want.  I have this especially with kink, where I feel like I’m asking him to do a lot of work to please me and I’m not totally clear that it’s not a selfish wish of mine.  I have the same difficulty asking people to eat my pussy or give me a back rub or whatever.  I don’t want to ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do.

We got set up and he said “take off whatever you are comfortable taking off”.  Oh man.  I asked him to kiss me.  He did.. a little… and said I’d get more when I took more off.  Oi Vey.  I took off my pants.. kiss kiss.  I took off my shirt.. kiss kiss kiss.  And he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply and pushed himself against me as he unhooked and removed my bra.  Sizzle. bra unhook

We began to play, so slowly and lightly at first.  We kissed here and there and had intense eye contact as he lightly cropped me.. here and there.. dancing on my skin.. warming.  We started with me facing him, facing out into the room, and I was very cognizant of the people watching and of my nakedness at first.  It was a delicious fear.  It excited me to be watched, to watch him, to gauge his facial expressions and briefly flick my attention to the crowd here and there until the sensations increased and I forgot they were present.  My body warmed and my skin sang and I got wetter and wetter as he teased me and tantalized me and built…so.. very… slowly.

He surprised me too in these little fits, when he pressed himself against me, kissed me, and when we let me reach and stroke his cock.  He smiled and gave me a sort of low laugh as I squeezed him, pleased.  He kept it fairly light, since it was our first time together and I’m still so new, but he left me some excellent reminders.  I’m guessing he’s working up.  It’s a good plan.

grabbing sheetI’m a little sore, and I’m bruised fairly well on my breasts and thighs from the cane, but I like it.  It’s a little delicacy to have flashes back to last night.  His hands, him grinding against me, the thud and sting and snap, and his taste come to me in little bursts.  I like to be reminded of the lick of his whip and of grasping the bed with my white knuckles while I flooded, and the pounding grinding aching delight of the back room.  I like the smile I get thinking of making him tingle with my fingertips on his skin and of the warmth of wrapping myself around him after, not wanting to let go and not feeling like I had to.

Cleveland asked me already how last night went because he was so compersive and felt such joy at the idea of me having naughty fun.  It’s a rare treat to get to enjoy his pleasure at my pleasure.  I think I’m starting to believe he really isn’t going to be mean or spiteful or accusatory.  I’m starting to get that he really might be okay, and that if he ever isn’t, maybe he’ll talk to me about it like a human being and we’ll work it out.

I don’t know what Traveler will say about the marks.  We have a date tonight.  He surprises me all the time, but he’s usually so supportive of the exploits of me and his wife and Peaches.  A few times when I’ve had a bruise here or there he’s guessed its origin, smiled, and said something like “very nice” before he fucked me silly.  I don’t know if it’s just that he knows how I feel about him and how he rocks me and therefore he doesn’t have cause for insecurity or that he’s just so happy with what makes the women he is with happy that it doesn’t matter, or maybe even just that he’s used to how well things run so well with him and his wife, but generally I feel like he’s in my corner and he celebrates whatever my successes are.  If he shocks me and needs reassurance or love or whatever I’ll give it gladly.

Ah, but it’s time to get ready.  Time to go shower and enjoy the view of my delicious reminders.  🙂

I'm baaaack

I finally made it to Portland and I really had a great time.  Traveling with Cleveland was lovely.  He’s an easy-going fun guy.  I think it’s still new for him to sleep with someone new and it was disorienting to be somewhere new too, so he slept pretty poorly and therefore I did too, but other than that and a glitch at the sex club, it all went off without a hitch.

southland whiskeyWe had yummy meals and great talks and some very nice naughty lovin’.  It was nice to have so much time.  We had time to just be leisurely and present.  We had time to talk a great deal and had oodles of kisses and pets and snuggles.  We were able to talk and talk and talk, and we talked about everything and nothing too.  It was so very good.

We talked getting ready for the swing club and how it went and about our tiff in our podcasts, which will post here soon.  It’s a two-fer, with one podcast made before the club and one made when we got home.  The short and long of our maiden swing club voyage is that we had a great time with a fritsy bit in the middle.  We worked it out pretty quickly and had amazeballs sex together in the couple’s room, soaking up the sexy vibe of all of the other couples there and enjoying the sights and sounds around us and enjoyed those enjoying us too.  Very cool.

Back at our room later, having had a great time with a bad patch in it, we made the second pod-cast, which helped us talk it out a little more, and fell asleep happy and resolved.

I don’t know that I will be a good swinger, which works because I don’t really want to swing all the time anyway.  I like the idea of meeting sexy people and having adventures, but I’m not great at hooking up with strangers in loud clubs dancing.  It’s just not my zone.  I was best at the talking bit at the food area and upstairs in the mingling spot by the other bar.   This is more my speed I think.  If I am a swinger at some point I think it’ll be more of the mingling and talking to people and going to parties with friends and friends of friends kind of thing, or meeting people by chatting.  I’ve never been one to hook up with people I met by dancing up on them.  It’s just not my speed.  I don’t know.  I know it was fun though and I’ve always wanted to go and see a place and now I have.  Hell.. I had amazing sex in one now while watching and being watched by like 20 people.  I think it still counts if it was with the guy I brought in.  It still counts.. right?

 

 

Try It. You'll Like It.

I went to a “tasting” event tonight at the local kink club. It’s where a number of “tops” set up stations and do certain kink techniques. It’s a great way to learn new techniques and to sample things to see if you might like to try them more seriously. No commitment and no expectations. It’s a fucking good idea.

I’ve been meaning to get to one of these things for a year or so now and I wish I’d gone sooner. It’s awesome.

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I tried needles (again), knife play, flogging, violet wand, and claws.

Continue reading

Adjustment

ImageI’ll admit it.  I miss  HER.  We weren’t dating, but she was one of my most satisfying relationships.   Maybe 50 times this weekend I thought.. OH!  I have to tell her!!! 

I haven’t worn a dress in years and did so mostly because she encouraged me and Cleveland was actually right about the tights.  I liked wearing a dress Friday and was really glad I did.  There were members of the head office and a Senate office there and I had to give out two formal awards and talk in work groups. She would have gotten a kick out of that.  I was so stressed leading up to all of this.

And when I went to get ready to go to the club on Saturday I decided I didn’t want to wear any of my clothes and went shopping at the rack.  I bought a dress and tights.  A FREAKING DRESS.  I wore it that night.  I hadn’t worn a dress since 2002 and I wore two in two days.

I found another good cocktail.

I wanted to hear how her talk went with her friends.

I flogged a man with some other people Saturday and learned a little bit about flogging in the process.  Then I got flogged.  I needed to be excited and I was a little nervous beforehand.  When I told my club friend, she grabbed me and made out with me for about 5 minutes.  We both got a little excited.  We realized we’d “wasted” it though because the person flogging wasn’t ready and we made out again a short while later. My club friend previously told me she was only bi from the waist up, but she made a point to tell me after making out with me that she had resolved that and was now bi all over, and kissed me again. I would have loved talking to her about it. It’s fun to tell her that stuff. She’s so funny and it makes me laugh so hard.

On Sunday Cleveland and I had a lovely date and he said some things I felt so deeply reassured by.  I would have liked sharing that joy. She loves Cleveland and likes Cleveland stories. 

It sucks how fragile really precious things are sometimes and how quickly strong goes to gone. I get it, but I’m just saying I miss her.